Topic: Squirrel Rage! | |
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Edited by
Lynann
on
Fri 01/23/09 11:33 AM
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Apparently offended by a perceived lack of respect or by any official recognition by the federal government of their holiday, Squirrel Day, squirrels have resorted to terrorist tactics!
This activity is an affront to real Americans! Please, I urge you to keep an eye on your neighborhood squirrels, report suspicious activities to the authorities! Have the squirrels in your neighborhood changed? Are squirrels previously unknown to you infiltrating your neighborhood? If you see squirrels gather in groups record their activities and include these names and observations in your reports. The liberal media is not mentioning this threat or it's gravity. Surely because they are terrorist squirrel sympathizers! Be vigilant! Only you can keep America safe!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Squirrels go nuts 7:32am Friday 23rd January 2009 The Northern Echo RAMPAGING squirrels are attacking nurses on their way to work, meaning health chiefs have been forced to give advice to their employees to protect them from the animals. Staff in Langley Park, County Durham, have been told to wear protective headgear, walk in pairs and carry umbrellas after a nurse was singled out by the furry fiends. Apparently two grey squirrels approached the woman because they thought she might feed them nuts. The district nurse was visiting a farm in Langley Park when the anti-social rodents struck. A Department of Health spokesman said: “The hospital involved sent out guidance that nurses should be careful and wear protective headgear or carry an umbrella. “The guidance says that they should walk in pairs. It is in case someone is injured and falls unconscious, so the other one can get help.” No official report has been submitted to the Department of Health, but the spokesman said advice had been issued in the wake of the attack, which left the victim with a “reddening of the scalp”. The nurse rated the severity of the incident as “moderate” on a scale of “insignificant to catastrophic” in a work accident report log. Karen Gibson, from community group Equal, which runs a nature reserve in Langley Park, said there were grey squirrels in the area. She said: “They are not normally aggressive, but they might have been fed by people, so they may have thought they could have been fed by the district nurse. They are normally very shy and they run away from you, but it can still be distressing if you come across an aggressive squirrel. “I think they would be frightened once they realised their mistake and would hopefully run away.” She said she had not heard of a squirrel attack in the area before. Ms Gibson added: “I have seen notices and heard of things in parks in more southern areas where people automatically go and say ‘oh lovely little squirrels, we will feed them’ and the children are in danger then. It can happen and, like all wildlife, you need to respect it and enjoy it from a distance. “The squirrels will be more afraid of you than you are of them, so clap your hands, shout at them and they will run away.” |
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My local squirrels have stepped up their theft of items from my deck. It was reported yesterday that they bypassed the security of my patio furniture covers and proceeded to smash and grab a decent amount of stuffing from the patio furniture pads.
A Squirrel Crimes Task Force (SCTF) is being formed by local law enforcement to combat this rash of squirrel related crime sprees. Residents are cautioned to stay indoors during the day until the suspects have been identified. |
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Squirrels can get vicious. My Dad was putting food out for birds. The squirrels were eating it too. One day he didn't. He was sitting in the kitchen with the door open. A squirrel screamed and clawed at the storm door. He wouldn't go away.
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Let the Revolution BEGIN!
Be seen' Ya! |
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Clearly squirrels have been slowly infiltrating society for some time. Setting up sleeper cells, mapping out resources and perhaps...dare we even imagine it...setting up alliances with like minded vermin like rats?
Listen to the alarming reports of your fellow citizens...more than that check out the compelling photographic evidence provided on this forum by AndyBgood!! Do not dismiss this real and present danger! |
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That 2nd pic down is a prairie dog isnt it?? The squirrels have either found an ally against us or is now recruiting mercs
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That 2nd pic down is a prairie dog isnt it?? The squirrels have either found an ally against us or is now recruiting mercs Good eye. |
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Clearly the squirrels have already recruited allies in this plot to assault and attack America.
ScotishGerman27 you sir are a good citizen. Thank you for your vigilance! |
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I hear they are trying to aquire WMD's.
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I hear they are trying to aquire WMD's. |
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Walnuts of Mass Destruction???
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Walnuts of Mass Destruction??? that is so funny hehe. Say that reminds me of something else. I just cant quite place it. |
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Walnuts of Mass Destruction??? |
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Walnuts of Mass Destruction??? Intelligence reports indicate that they have aquired yellowcake from Africa. |
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Where is the outrage? It's time to take a stand.
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They have disguises!
An Air Corps... And worst yet... They have been Gene Bending! |
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In this alarming report for the lower east side of NYC there are reports of squirrels sabotaging transportation in a clear attempt to cripple vital means of transportation!
“Squirrels have been eating up the wires in the cars,” complains Arfe. http://www.grandstreetnews.com/scripts/grand/paper/Article.asp?ArticleID=276 |
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