Thats a silly way to think really. If she changed her driving habits because she was pissed, thats her fault, not yoursYou said she hit black ice also, so she may not have even been speeding. You know damm well that black ice is not user friendly

Your guilt is a very natural thing to feel, although this was in no way your fault. It is associated with Surviviors guilt syndrome.

It takes two people to fight. Even if you wanted to fight she could have opted out.

Sounds to me she chose the time. Addressing issues at night;probably when you are tired is not mature.

The place. As an adult you go someplace and allow yourself to get into and arguement before you decide to leave it is your choice. More than once I have seen someone was in a pissy mood and gotten a headache or some similiar excuse and gone home.

And the weather conditions. It was stupid to drive over there on black ice and even more stupid to drive anywhere after on it.

If she chooses to get herself all worked up over and arguement that is on her.

That she chose to leave probably was two. Even if you booted her out, once she got in her car she could have turned on the heater and sat there until she calmed down. Or even driven to the next block and waited. There have been plenty of times I have been upset and had to chill once I got in a car. When I have been really upset I have had friends come get me or taken a cab.

For all you know she was talking on a cell phone or fiddleing with the radio.

Sounds like, if she rolled her car several times, she wasn't just easing down the rode until she got home.

The only thing I can see that you might have done wrong is once you got to the scene of the accident you should have told your chain of command it was personal and backed off.

I am sorry this happen to you and your girlfriend. Hopefully others will learn from this and so will you. People don't make good decisions when they are angry. It helps to avoid arguements and drama in your life.

I don't think this was your fault

I once recommended someone for a job, who died on the job the day after I got the referral bonus for recommending her. I wasted 5 years of my life due to survivor's guilt, because I *should have been there*, as I was the senior person.

A friend recently broke his knee in 6 places after driving his wife to rehab for a drug problem. As much as I dislike her behavior, I can't blame her for what happened to his knee. It was another driver, winter, etc.


Survivor's guilt is purely optional. If you want to suffer, go for it, but the fact is, you weren't behind the wheel.