Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: need help
lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Tue 01/13/09 08:12 AM
Okay... Two threads in two days. If we help you out here with our opinions, you going to stick around and participate this time? Here is my question: Do you love the guy you are with or the man you want him to be? Why do you love him, if he treats you so poorly? I say it again. Who the hell cares about buying stuff? Why do you? How is that even relevant to the questions posed to you?

Shagwell Joined Tue 12/30/08 Posts: 1323	Tue 01/13/09 08:14 AM
I said this yesterday and I'll say it again. It is NEVER ok to cheat. And, you are cheating by talking and considering going out with the other guy. So, that doesn't make you any better than your boyfriend, if he is cheating, which you don't know cause you haven't bothered asking. You are taking the word of your mother who illegally opened his mail and read something personal, and then you didn't even ask him about it. Why is that? Because you KNOW you did something wrong as well. You have no trust in your relationship, you are allowing others to dictate what your relationship is with your boyfriend and NOW you're asking US to tell you what to do. Well, here it is in a nutshell. Grow up, accept some responsibility for your own life and your own choices, have a conversation with your boyfriend about the problems in your relationship. Either fix them or move on. Either way, do not drag an innocent victim into the mess you are creating. Yes, YOU are creating this mess by allowing it to go on. Sorry, I know this is harsh, but damn. Thank you for your brutal honesty!

TxsGal3333 Joined Tue 09/05/06 Posts: 76436	Tue 01/13/09 08:14 AM
i dont know i mean he does buy me things when i ask him to and sometimes i dont ask him and he buys me stuff anyway and i always pay him back but i have been with him for two years and i am having his baby Hummm okay he buys you stuff but you pay him back for buying you stuff And you are having his kid soooooooo now the kid in the photo is that one his too since you said ya'll have been together for 2 years? And does the one you love even live with you? Sorry but all this sounds really messed up!!

buttons Joined Mon 11/06/06 Posts: 25783	Tue 01/13/09 08:16 AM Edited by buttons on Tue 01/13/09 08:18 AM
im not seeing the other guy nor would i if i were u.... cause again hes disrespectful twords you for even trying to interupt a relationship that you have already... goes to show how important relationships are to him... yeah it's always the guy's fault...such crap this morning! not a guy thing if i were to try and pick up on you and meet you for a date knownly you had a gf would i not be showing that i disrespect you? and disrespect relationships? i say yes!!!! women can do it too... facts are its both their faults.... if i was in a relationship and someone pressed meeting me for a date id block them myself...i dont need disrespectful friends..

buttons Joined Mon 11/06/06 Posts: 25783	Tue 01/13/09 08:18 AM
to disrespect my relationship is to disrespect me...

Shagwell Joined Tue 12/30/08 Posts: 1323	Tue 01/13/09 08:19 AM
im not seeing the other guy nor would i if i were u.... cause again hes disrespectful twords you for even trying to interupt a relationship that you have already... goes to show how important relationships are to him... yeah it's always the guy's fault...such crap this morning! not a guy thing if i were to try and pick up on you and meet you for a date knownly you had a gf would i not be showing that i disrespect you? and disrespect relationships? i say yes!!!! women can do it too... facts are its bothe their faults.... if i was in a relationship and someone pressed meeting me for a date id block them myself...i dont need disrespectful friends.. from what I read so far from the OP, she she doesn't seem to be putting a stop to the other guy's advances, it appears that she is gladly encouraging it and she asking us which one she should be with if not both!

TxsGal3333 Joined Tue 09/05/06 Posts: 76436	Tue 01/13/09 08:19 AM
I said this yesterday and I'll say it again. It is NEVER ok to cheat. And, you are cheating by talking and considering going out with the other guy. So, that doesn't make you any better than your boyfriend, if he is cheating, which you don't know cause you haven't bothered asking. You are taking the word of your mother who illegally opened his mail and read something personal, and then you didn't even ask him about it. Why is that? Because you KNOW you did something wrong as well. You have no trust in your relationship, you are allowing others to dictate what your relationship is with your boyfriend and NOW you're asking US to tell you what to do. Well, here it is in a nutshell. Grow up, accept some responsibility for your own life and your own choices, have a conversation with your boyfriend about the problems in your relationship. Either fix them or move on. Either way, do not drag an innocent victim into the mess you are creating. Yes, YOU are creating this mess by allowing it to go on. Sorry, I know this is harsh, but damn. Thank you for your brutal honesty! You know this may be brutal and I did not read the other thread that all is talking about but seems this one has summed it up pretty good in my book. Two wrongs never make a right. If you’re pregnant with his kid why in the world would you even consider dating anyone else? One needs to clean up their own life, before bringing another into it. It amazes me how some don’t want to see reality that is before them. Way tooooooooooooooo much Drama for me shshshsh.

buttons Joined Mon 11/06/06 Posts: 25783	Tue 01/13/09 08:21 AM
im not seeing the other guy nor would i if i were u.... cause again hes disrespectful twords you for even trying to interupt a relationship that you have already... goes to show how important relationships are to him... yeah it's always the guy's fault...such crap this morning! not a guy thing if i were to try and pick up on you and meet you for a date knownly you had a gf would i not be showing that i disrespect you? and disrespect relationships? i say yes!!!! women can do it too... facts are its bothe their faults.... if i was in a relationship and someone pressed meeting me for a date id block them myself...i dont need disrespectful friends.. from what I read so far from the OP, she she doesn't seem to be putting a stop to the other guy's advances, it appears that she is gladly encouraging it and she asking us which one she should be with if not both! i most certainly agree ps im far from a man basher

TxsGal3333 Joined Tue 09/05/06 Posts: 76436	Tue 01/13/09 08:22 AM
im not seeing the other guy nor would i if i were u.... cause again hes disrespectful twords you for even trying to interupt a relationship that you have already... goes to show how important relationships are to him... yeah it's always the guy's fault...such crap this morning! Whooooooooooaaaaa hang on Buttercup I don't see where this is all the guy's fault at all!! This is a prime excample of one messed up relationship!!! If you can even call it a relationship.

buttons Joined Mon 11/06/06 Posts: 25783	Tue 01/13/09 08:24 AM
quite frankly im wondering why this is the question at all? perhaps a better question would of been... im always left alone by the man i love.. i wonder how its gonna be when the baby comes being left all alone to raise it?

TxsGal3333 Joined Tue 09/05/06 Posts: 76436	Tue 01/13/09 08:25 AM
im not seeing the other guy nor would i if i were u.... cause again hes disrespectful twords you for even trying to interupt a relationship that you have already... goes to show how important relationships are to him... yeah it's always the guy's fault...such crap this morning! not a guy thing if i were to try and pick up on you and meet you for a date knownly you had a gf would i not be showing that i disrespect you? and disrespect relationships? i say yes!!!! women can do it too... facts are its bothe their faults.... if i was in a relationship and someone pressed meeting me for a date id block them myself...i dont need disrespectful friends.. from what I read so far from the OP, she she doesn't seem to be putting a stop to the other guy's advances, it appears that she is gladly encouraging it and she asking us which one she should be with if not both! i most certainly agree ps im far from a man basher Shshshhs give me a man I will show ya how I will flog him opps I mean bash him heheheheheh

Shagwell Joined Tue 12/30/08 Posts: 1323	Tue 01/13/09 08:26 AM
im not seeing the other guy nor would i if i were u.... cause again hes disrespectful twords you for even trying to interupt a relationship that you have already... goes to show how important relationships are to him... yeah it's always the guy's fault...such crap this morning! Whooooooooooaaaaa hang on Buttercup I don't see where this is all the guy's fault at all!! This is a prime excample of one messed up relationship!!! If you can even call it a relationship. that's what was said, it's the other guy's fault!

buttons Joined Mon 11/06/06 Posts: 25783	Tue 01/13/09 08:28 AM
im not seeing the other guy nor would i if i were u.... cause again hes disrespectful twords you for even trying to interupt a relationship that you have already... goes to show how important relationships are to him... yeah it's always the guy's fault...such crap this morning! Whooooooooooaaaaa hang on Buttercup I don't see where this is all the guy's fault at all!! This is a prime excample of one messed up relationship!!! If you can even call it a relationship. that's what was said, it's the other guy's fault! yes his actions are his fault and her actions are her fault. you cant put blame on your actions on someone else..

SuzinVA Joined Wed 04/25/07 Posts: 28730	Tue 01/13/09 08:29 AM
nor would i if i were u.... cause again hes disrespectful twords you for even trying to interupt a relationship that's what was said, it's the other guy's fault! I didn't interpret that remark as blaming the other guy, though I can see where it could be interpreted in that way. I don't see where it's the other guy's fault at all, unless she was very, very clear in telling him she was in a relationship and was in no way, shape or form interested in cheating. If he persisted, that would be disrespectful. However, in this particular case, I very much doubt she did much to discourage his attention.

feralcatlady Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 35491	Tue 01/13/09 08:33 AM
my life would not be so good without him in it i love the guy im with its just that he is always leaving me alone to go out with friends and he would not come back for hours and he would also go out with his family and nit invite me to come he dosent spend holidays with me or ask me to spend them with him can you say looser and can you look in the mirror and say.....hello wth am I doing....and then next time you talk to him....say you are history.......I am worth more then you give me....so ta ta

TxsGal3333 Joined Tue 09/05/06 Posts: 76436	Tue 01/13/09 08:35 AM
im not seeing the other guy nor would i if i were u.... cause again hes disrespectful twords you for even trying to interupt a relationship that you have already... goes to show how important relationships are to him... yeah it's always the guy's fault...such crap this morning! Whooooooooooaaaaa hang on Buttercup I don't see where this is all the guy's fault at all!! This is a prime excample of one messed up relationship!!! If you can even call it a relationship. that's what was said, it's the other guy's fault! Maybe that is how some will look at it but.....reality is there is her story his story and what we see then there is the truth. Each person can blame whom ever they want to but it is not always so cut and dry on whose fault it is. Hey I'm with you on this one it is not all his fault. But I do see that he has some faults but what she is even thinking or leading on is not right either. Which puts her to blame as well. You see not all women think only men are to blame all the time. Women do the same thing as men do they are not all Angel's as some like to portray themselves as.

Shagwell Joined Tue 12/30/08 Posts: 1323	Tue 01/13/09 08:37 AM
such as the case here!

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Tue 01/13/09 08:39 AM
Frankly, I'm sorry I posted in either thread, yesterday and today.

Shagwell Joined Tue 12/30/08 Posts: 1323	Tue 01/13/09 08:41 AM
Frankly, I'm sorry I posted in either thread, yesterday and today. Don't be...you didn't know and neither did I

SuzinVA Joined Wed 04/25/07 Posts: 28730	Tue 01/13/09 08:42 AM
Frankly, I'm sorry I posted in either thread, yesterday and today. Seems to be pointless. And I'm fairly positive there'll be another tomorrow. And the next and the next until she finds someone who will give her permission and the ok to do what she wants to do anyway.