after a divorce to start dating and introducing someone new to your kids?

How long were you married?

I'd say at LEAST 6 months, but try a year. You need to be really over her.

Don't le the kids meet anyone you don't think is going to be permanent. Months is best, but it can depend (after you start dating).

Date whenever YOU feel ready, but introducing to the kid? LONG LONG time - that's my thought anyway

I'm still in the middle of my divorce, but i have dated during seperation

15 yrs divorce and has taken about a year to go through the court stuff

You mean 15 years married?

If so, I'd say wait longer, and don't let your kids meet anyone for a long time. If they aren't little.... ohh it can be tough. Best advice, ask your kids if they want you to date, then go from there. It's important to make kids think their opinions matter. But don't ask them until after the divorce.

Well I haven't personally been divorced, but I do remember when my parents got divorced. My dad started dating almost immediately. He even slept with her in my parents bed while the divorce was in progress.

I'd say that wasn't the right way to go...it really screwed me up. I was about 5 at the time. Not to mention that ***** of a whore used to throw me down the stairs when my dad wasn't home....

15 years,


and i though 10 was a long time

all my friends are trying to hook me up with all these women. at times im not ready for this and the male in my says its time. then if i do meet someone i wasnt sure when it would be good for the kids to meet her.

Do you want your kids to get attached to someone who isn't going to be around? Imagine the hurt and loss and trust issues....

i have my boys half the time. so they are around alot. just dont know the proper way on handling this. i guess i would have to meet someone first. then go from there.

That's two weeks a month to date.

It depends on if you know your ready to date. If yer over her, go for it. Children rebound quickly from mom or dads girlfriends or boyfriends, the parent bond can never be taken away.

This statement might be true in your experience, but it's not a truth.

My son has had very hard times.

Exactly. I had a lot of issues when my parents were getting divorced and the fact that my dad remarried within a few months sure as hell didn't help. Not to mention he didnt even give her enough time to find out she was a psycho

lilith how long did you wait until you went out with someone? and introduce the new person to your kid(s)?

I waited 18 months to date, and 23 total til he met someone. (So we dated several months before he met the man) Sadly, it did not work out and my kid cried for weeks. I ended up having to move back to Ohio, so that was why it ended. (My ex filed for more visitation and the courts made me move, after they'd let me return home to New England)

All I'm trying to say is use extreme caution. These kids are hurt and damaged, they want to be accepted and have security. They don't have the depersonalization and coping skills we do. To them, it's their fault. They need our protection.

If you go on a date and call her by your wife's pet name, it hasn't been long enough.

thanks for your thoughts. its been a pretty hard process to go through wasnt ready for this type of life. just finally decided to get my own place, was living in a hotel for ever. then one day i thought i need to start putting some roots down agian

I'm never getting married


eff that.