Here is the place to post silly stuff! Phrases of the day, jokes, or complete nonsense!





What would life be without catfish fishing?

Dunno

I don't know either just a silly nonsense one!

why is it so hard to get someone on the phone in China



cuz theres so mant wings and wongs, you wing the wong number

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."

Caught Speeding

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this
car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and
examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't
have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

i cant help but think of a real life whackadoo after reading this

Tanya will you send me curlers to match you?

sure babydoll!

What do you call a turtle that flies?






















A shell-icopter!

Two guys were in a car stopped at a red light. The light finally turned green, but the driver didn't notice.
The passenger said, "Er, it's green."
After a moment, the driver responded, "A frog?"

A DRUNK WAS WALKING DOWN THE BEACH , FINDS THIS LAMP AND WIPES IT OFF. A GENIE APPEARS AND GRANTS HIM 2 WISHES.

THE DRUNK SAYS , I WANT A BOTTLE OF BOOZE THAT NEVER GOES EMPTY
POOF....IN HIS HAND WAS A BOTTLE. HE DRANK IT DOWN AND IT AUTOMATICALLY FILLED BACK UP.

THE GENIE SAW THE MAN WAS PLEASED AND SAID, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE FOR YOUR 2ND WISH??

THE DRUNK SAID,ANOTHER ONE JUST LIKE THIS

my favorite yo mama disses.....enjoy

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Yo Mama so stupid it took her 1 hour 2 cook minute rice.

This is a message from my son (I guess it falls under nonsense)




jjjjkkkkkkklll////ppppzzzzzzzmmmmmmmmm///////pppnnncccccxxxxxaaaaaaaa]]]]]hhhhbbbbbnnnnbggtyv4rr4y4gf45r5f34f34218nw
3eqbf38 bt874eghhstbg3g5bg6h6tnnrnt
85b34bbytdfdggvt w8t q8w sqwygdbre5ftvvyxdgfwqd8k`ks///////
ut8h8vcgunh8tgnvf8vn0r8ujigjgvg0vmt/////
9d6h5rnhuyjjoiujuymhmgfwaixemiewnxrvf8wf7evb///////,tovity r7etj3frnrfnerfnh

I like turtles

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU PUT THE ENERGIZER BUNNYS BATTERIES IN BACKWARDS???





HE KEEPS COMING, AND COMING, AND COMING......