Dear Mom and Dad,

Since arriving at college, I've been remiss in writing and I apologise.
Please forgive me. I want to bring you up to date, but before reading
any further - please sit down. I repeat DO NOT read any further unless
you are sitting down.
Now the news. I'm OK now. The skull fracture and concussion I got
while jumping out of the dorm window during the fire have healed. I
spent 2 weeks in hospital, but the stiTches come out tomorrow. I can
almost see normally again and only have dizzy spells or headaches once
or twice a day.
Fortunately, the fire and my jump were witnessed by the attendant at a
gas station who called the fire department and an ambulance. He also
visited me in hospital, and as I had no place to stay after the fire, he
was kind enough to let me share his apartment. Actually, it's just a
basement room and though small, it's cute.
He's a very fine man, and we've fallen deeply in love. We haven't set a
date for the wedding, but it will definitely be before my pregnancy
begins to show. Yes Mom and Dad, I'm pregnant. I know how thrilled
you'll be to know you're gonna be grandparents and will welcome the baby
and give it the same love and devotion you gave me. The reason for the
delay in our marriage, is that my boyfriend has a minor infection which
prevents him from passing the premarital bloodtest, and this is somewhat
complicated by the fact that I have caught it too.
I know that you will welcome Clem into the family with open arms. He
is a wonderful human being, and though not well educated, he is very
ambitious. He is of a different race and religion to us, but I know that
your natural warmth and fairness will not permit you to become biased.

Now that I've brought you up to date, I want to say, there was no fire
in my dormitory, no skull fracture or concussion. I was not in the
hospital, I'm not pregnant, not engaged or in love, not infected, and
there is no boyfriend in my life. However, I am getting a 'D' in history
and an 'F' in science, and I want you to view these marks in their
proper perspective.

Signed



YOUR LOVING DAUGHTER

OMG... I sure hope I don't get a letter like that from my
daughter!!!!!

That was hillarious!!