I think you did the right thing. He simply wasn't right for you. I would not say he was a bad guy or didn't/doesn't love you............you simply have very strong opinions on the subject that are completely contradictory. Maybe he thought he could live with your decision, and found out that he couldn't. It happens. It doesn't mean he is a jerk, or that he intended to try and sneak his way in.

Don't get me wrong, I see and respect your point, but this is his life we're talking about here too, not just yours and your sons. If he won't marry someone he has not lived with for a period of time first, that is as important as you not living with someone until you are engaged/married. It doesn't make him a bad person................nor does it mean he doesn't love you, or didn't.

Marriage takes much more than love to work anyway. Again, I think you did right by sticking to your guns, if it is that important to you do not go back on it, but also realize that others do not have to concede to your wishes, they have their own interests as well..............and I figure he was scared to commit without first seeing what living together was like.

People do change, things are different, once you begin to live together...........that is a fact. So, it isn't so ridiculous for someone to want that.

Again, you have a son, and you don't want to bring someone into the home and have a life together, just for them to up and leave in a few months or whatever.........and that makes sense to.

Time to part ways. Which is what you did. I just wanted to point out that their are two sides to this story, and just as his "feelings" are not more important than yours, I don't get some of the people's mentality on here saying that yours is more than his.

It is a simple matter of different values, a good reason to break off a relationship.

Plainome-
Your response is very accurate. I do see it that way. Of course my post is one-sided....I'm the one writing it. He is entitled to his own view. I only wish he raised the issue sooner. He said he felt it all along, but never spoke up. He spoke about designing the ring and asked our parents....then did nothing. So I do feel misled since he was not honest about his feelings. Instead he acted like we were on the same page and kept leading me on. I would not have dated him if I knew we were so opposed to something so important. I think I had the right to know that. That is my only point of contention.

What I was wondering here was more along the lines of:
1) am I right to end a relationship over this
2) do I expect to much in general...would my request be impossible?
3) can other single parents relate/been through something similar or have similar values.

Your response was right on. I do get the other side of it. All of the responses have helped me see that I made a good decision for me and my son.

Thanks for your feedback-

I see your point, and I think I did answer your main concerns.

1. Yes you were right, if it is something that is so important to you, then you should not back down.

2. I think it is a lot to expect now a days to, but not necessarily too much. People still do it. Besides, it is true that people change, but even living together people change. Marriage is about sticking it through thick and thin. You will change over your life time, you may not be the same person in five years as you are today, the question is this person willing to grow and change with you??? Most people want more guarantees than life can give. I personally am not sure I will every get married again, for that reason. I am not willing to be with someone in a romantic sense through all the horrors of life, if they lie to me, become a drunk, etc........so why go through the whole marriage thing, but that is me.

3. I have two children, and I can see where you are coming from, definitely. I have a live in boyfriend, and I worry all the time, what if we break up, how will it effect the kids, etc. I can't exactly rewind and do it differently, but if I could I would have preferred for us to live separately........

no im here how are you