away from sex with there partner until after the wedding? If I understand the concept of God and Christianity, once you have had sex with a person, in God's eyes, you are married.

The way I look at it and believe, is very simple. If two christians truly love each other, and wish to be together in Gods name, all they have to do is commit. I have not found naywhere in the bible where it states you are required to stand up in front of a priest (generic term), or a judge, or justice of the peace, let alone a ships captain lol.

and going by christian faith, the marriage is not official until it is consumated (until you have had sex). So, my belief is very simply this:

if yuo are sleeping with someone, you are married to them. Wether you have stood up in front of someone or not. IMO, "weddings" were conceived in order to bring more revenue into the church and state, not because God wants a ceremony to show thattwo people love each other.

i agree, i think this is the correct answer.

and i have thought about this long and hard also.

well put

I agree. As Liberace said, "You can only drive one Cadillac at a time."

The only "cadillac" I ever had, had alot of prior miles put on it. I gave it up for a sleek little sporty thing. It proved to be a lemon! get the picture.

The woman at the well had been married 5 times and the man she was then living with was not her husband. Look at John 4:16-18.

16 He told her, "Go, call your husband and come back."

17"I have no husband," she replied.

Jesus said to her, "You are right when you say you have no husband. 18The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true."

If sleeping with someone meant you were married, what about 2 consenting adults and a one night stand? Or a weekend rendezvous? Or a long term affair on your spouse? If you were married to the spouse of your children and living with her/him but not having sex, and were “consummating” with your co-worker, would that dissolve your marriage to your current spouse and start a new marriage with your consummating partner? What about with a prostitute?

And if you were married by “consummating”, then if things didn’t work out would you be required to file for a certificate of divorce? I believe that even in Biblical times they were required to file and serve in order to legally dissolve a marriage.

Matthew 9:6-8 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

7"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"

If you are required to give a legal certificate for divorce, would it be ok to assume that when the marriage ceremony took place and the two entered into a covenant that a legal certificate was also given to them at that time as well? Or at least some kind of legal document so that the marriage was recorded?

Marriages were huge deals in those days. A celebration could go on for a week and the preparation….Jesus even performed His first miracle at a wedding by turning water into wine. A party favor! We can read about marriages from Genesis to Revelation at the marriage supper of the Lamb.

It is my belief that what we do before and after the marriage ceremony has a direct effect on the blessing of that marriage.

"If you are required to give a legal certificate for divorce, would it be ok to assume that when the marriage ceremony took place and the two entered into a covenant that a legal certificate was also given to them at that time as well? Or at least some kind of legal document so that the marriage was recorded?"

I learned the hard way that we should not "assume" anything! No offense meant here, but read the Bible about what Jesus was really doing here in the first place. What He said he was doing, not what anyone else in the "bible" said about him being here. He was just trying to get people to understand who actually "owned" anything and to love each other instead of trying to prove anything to each other!

I am not exactly sure what you mean there. I could really care less what anyone says about Jesus, even my Pastor (that is why it is so important to be in a good church and know the character of the Pastor you are under). If it is not proved in the Word of God, if you can't show me a scripture proving what you are saying, 2-3 scriptures in agreement, and the reference isn't taken out of context of the whole chapter, I can't except that. (Mt. 18:16, 2 Cor. 13:1)

SHOW ME THE SCRIPTURE


"He was just trying to get people to understand who actually "owned" anything and to love each other instead of trying to prove anything to each other."

I have been bought with a price and I am no longer my own (1 Cor. 6:20). All of 6 is dealing with right and wrong, but especially 12-20 (as far as what we do with ourselves and one another physically).

I trust God knows what is best for me. I have actually learned that the hard way. My way didn't work!

"to love each other"

What is love? What is loving each other? I find that has a lot of different meanings to different people.

Oh yeah, and sorry about the typo on the scripture reference above. That is Matthew 19, not 9, in my first post.

I believe you explained that pretty well Laura.

Look up the word "fornication"... that is sex outside of marriage.

This crap about having sex and you're married in God's eyes is liberal luke-warm hogwash.

Paul said that he would that all men could be as he was, meaning a celibate, but then he said it is better to marry than to burn, meaning if you are that close to someone, you need to get married (first) and sex later.

No where in the Bible does it pronounce that sex outside of marriage is OK. That is called fornication and is listed right in there with all kinds of other filthy sin. Not my words, that's where the Bible puts fornicators.

I guess the wedding at Canaan didn't happen (those of you who say there is no marriage in the Bible)... so... where did these folks get the idea to be married, and why was Jesus there making water into wine then, if marriage isn't in the Bible?

Ay yi yi.

This is probably one of the quickest verses and theology studies to be twisted as soon as somebody gets a bit horny. Really.

Think on this, that Jesus was tempted in all ways. Also, there is no temptation that will take you that God will leave you hanging... he will give you a way out.

This perversion of scripture is merely a justificaion for commiting fornication before marriage.

Adutery is sex with someone else's spouse AFTER either you are they are married. (So, that is a different one...)

Sex sins are some of the hardest to resist because sex is tied to the natural reproduction of the species, and their are many chemicals and hormones involved with the petting, make-out process. The process is meant to lead to sex and the making of babies, but in today's world little is held sacred anymore.

Yes, God expects us to wait until after marriage for sex. If you've been doing otherwise, and justifying it by twisting scripture to suit your taste, well,,, its simple, just repent, turn away from it, and sin no more.

And quite frankly, grow a pair and get married. Some folks shy away from commitment... marriage is a commitment. One of the benefits of marriage is sex. You'll figure it out.....

One other thought to interject here is the scripture that refers to your body being the temple of the Holy Spirit.

Consider this the next time you are tempted to fornicate.

Hmmm... let me see here...

According to how the scripture is being twisted above...

If a man has had sex with (say) three women, then he has three wives...

Sex outside of marriage is fornication...

Sex if you or the other person is married is adultery...


I guess then that we could say sex with the first woman outside of marriage was fornication... then sex with all the rest was adultery, because by your definition, you were previously... "married..."

So, sex with every partner after the first one would then be Adultery....

Ahem...cough, cough...

Pack that thing in your pants, and don't bring it out until God says so... basically... like it, or sin... its your choice... many choose to sin...

How many of us can choose to overcome?

Agree

Though I'm not going to state that what you have stated is wrong, and the contrary is true - I will say that your arguments support a pretext, and are not established by context.

There is no biblical directive for marriage. Marriage is described in Genesis, and supported again by Jesus in Matthew and Mark. It is merely defined as a Man leaving his father and mother and being united with his wife - and the two will become one flesh.

We know there were actual wedding ceremonies at the time of Jesus - but then, the Jews had ceremonies for everything. Jesus neither condemned, nor condoned these practices, but there is nothing in the Law that even refers to marriage. Only divorce, and that was due to the hardness of their hearts.

Though you present good arguments that appeal to reason - that does not make them biblical. It could very well be that once before the Lord to give account for one's life that he not demand to know why each woman a man has had sex with - was not treated as their wife for a lifetime!

Paul gives numerous analogies to marriage and Christ's relationship with the church, but it is not necessarily correct to extrapolate that back to a set of pre-requisites for marriage. Many of the patriarcks had numerous marriages. We don't really know if this was just allowed by God, or if it was in defiance of him. David had mulriple wives, as did Soloman. Now - I'm not saying that we as believers should condone multiple marriages - but rather, I am saying that all of the examples of marriages, and references should be examined, rather than siting a few passages out of their context to support a pretext.

I can imagine a convoluted situation where a couple would marry without declaring their marriage (think the Braveheart movie).

What I struggle to understand is why actual people try to claim that they were married in the eyes of God while engaging in sexual activity before formal marriage.

A marriage contract does not cost much, and almost everyone can come up with the money. If you are really getting married, then why not make it official?

For those who want a marriage without a government contract, why not have a simple inexpensive wedding presided over by the minister of your choice with assorted friends and family? While we tend to spend a fortune on such ceremonies, it is not required that people buy fancy new clothes, decorate the church, or even have a reception.

The only reasons I see being commonplace is either you are not old enough to get married and your parents will not agree to it, or you don't want to declare a marriage in front of others because you are not really married.

If you are in such an incredible situation that you believe that a secret marriage is valid, both spouses need to declare their marriage to God and each other before consumation.

I have to agree with Beauty. This is what happens when sin runs your life. You make excuses to sin and sex is the number one. Doesn't anyone believe that making love or having sex is a very beautiful thing and a very sacred act that should be held high and to do that is to honor God.

Why wouldn't you want to have a ceremony to let others know of your intentions and your committment. Why, because you really don't want a committment, you see things down the road, well if I don't like her or him I can just get out. Boy is this so far from the truth. Want to know of great marriages look in the bible, they were never easy. Today we would have took off running from these circumstances, it is so easy to run much more difficult to stay and work it out. And who is being glorified here, come on people wake up to the truth. What part of the bible are you trying to change to fit your wants and desires.

You know it's not about finding the right woman or man it's about being the right woman or man. Get close to the living God and honor Him, first.