No kidding

Do you love each other? That is most important part. If you do then you are both going to have to go out of your ways to make it work. Every relationship is going to go through slumps. The honeymoon is over type of thing. That's when the metal meets the road. That's when you have to really work to have a good relationship. I would say sit down and talk to each other about the concerns you each have. If he makes all that mess he needs to help clean it up. He is a grown man, time to act like it.

You said earlier that this problem wasn't big enough for counseling, and I just wanted to say that yeah, it is. That's what counselors are for, to help people find solutions to life problems that they can't find on their own. They can help you sort stuff out, give you a new perspective etc. If you really want to save this relationship, and if he does, then it certainly can't hurt to give a couple of sessions a try.

theres no reason to stay if you are unhappy.and unless there is gonna be a change.

I see no reason

{{j2034cutie}} Fighting everyday isn't healthy, and as well it isn't a good environment for your soon. It is obvious you love each other, but maybe you can (as suzin and others stated) try counseling. It will help, and also talking more to each other will help as well.

Communication is a key factor in any relationship, as is patience. If you really love each other, do your best to make it work.

If taking a break will help, try that also. Being away from each other will make you two appreciate each other even more when you get back together.

And most important of all, do what your hearts tell you to do.

Good luck, I wish you all the best

Thank you all. I feels so good to vent. I'm going to give this another shot and include some wild make-out sessions. It's been a while since we have had that!!!

Thanks!
-J

Ok from what I am reading here is that you both care for each other. Lately life is biting you in the but and you both are taking it out on each other, be very careful of setting that pattern. Also to be honest the honeymoon is over. Now real life is here and it is what it is.
I also don't believe Race has anything to do with this.
You made a couple of statements that I think are very valid and should be addressed.

Oh au contraire my dear, if this relationship has love in it and let's face it you have seen him at his worst and he has seen you at yours. If the communication has broken down you very well might need a professional's help if nothing else to referee to get it back on track. There is no shame in getting help to saved a relationship. I mean think about it wouldn't you rather try then break up and wonder if only...


I know for me this is how I answered this question and I made my decision with out anger or any other hostile feelings.
When the pain of leaving is less than the pain of staying. That to me is when I decide to leave.
Good luck

Well, I most agree most of you were correct. I did something wrong today just to see if my feelings were correct. I went through his phone and the things I found, unbelieveable!!. How he wanted to perform oral sex on women, asking for naked picks of their gentials and other things a man in a relationship shouldn't ask. The thing that grabbed my attention is that he requested to meet up with one of the girls and described what he would do to her and what he want done to him..

Today, I broke up with him. I feel as a man that says he loves me, yet ready to cheat only really loves himself and I could never compete with that.

So, this weekend I move and as of now I'm single. I guess I can start to heal.

good for you !

Just make sure you take enough time to heal.

If you don't, chances are that you'll repeat the same mistakes.