Wow....a great cut and paste. Some food for thought for a healthy
realtionship:

The happiest couples relate to each other with respect, affection, and
empathy. They choose their words carefully, avoiding the most poisonous
relationship behaviors—criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and
stonewalling— and feel emotionally connected.

To change your relationship, change yourself. In most relationships, we
think, I'm right, you're wrong, and I'll try to convince you to change.
The truth is, if one person changes, the relationship changes. People
say, 'Why do I have to change?' But when I show them how to tip over the
first domino, their only question is, 'Why did I wait so long?'

Watch out for harsh comments—they hit harder than you think.
When you're tired or frustrated, it's easy to slip into being critical
of your partner. But remember, negative expressions and comments and
behaviors hold much more weight than positive interactions. Make sure
that for every one negative interaction, you have five positive
interactions to counteract it—a touch, a laugh, a kiss, an act of love,
a compliment.

Great Jane! That's a big one.

In my personal opinion beeing woddy arogant is the worst that can happen
to couples. Being flexible and willing to accept someones opinion or
ideas ... Well not everyone capable of doing so.

so true not everyone is capable

but maybe their day willcome

an opinion is fine and disagreeing with an opinion is fine continually
shoving your belief's at people and refuseing to hear anything but your
own side well,,,,i just think that's different ,,and discussion's are
not forceful and relentless

very well put papa

thank you kind sir

This is so true, for if you treat others the way you would like them to
treat you most likely good will come out of it. Do the little things for
your partner being thoughtful of there needs as well. In return before
you know it they pick up on it and will return the little favors back
knowing how good it made them feel and wanting to do the same for you.
It is all about giving not what you get in return. But now yeah sad to
say some seem to never give and always take but in reality that is not a
healthy relationship.

Way to go Jane, great post.
Thanks

I am thinking of some of the longest relationships I've heard of.

I'm not so sure you can spend a lifetime with another and NOT have some
of the negative things be in it. I just don't feel that's reality.
When it is so unbalanced it turns to abuse... then, yes.

So much depends on the two as individuals and what they will and will
not allow.

Personally, when one uses intimidation in any form toward me, it's a
done deal. Been too long at survival to go back to that crap.

ET said *I'm not so sure you can spend a lifetime with another and NOT
have some of the negative things be in it*

I agree with you Nene there always will be obstacles ... Life is life
...we all know this.

But here is where an art of communication and sense of humor comes to
save the situation.

without the negative there is no positive

like how do you mean, marina?

like you say, life is life... and, we are human and do and say dumb
things... I suppose wether the person admits it and does something about
stopping it themselves is the thing.

But, how do you mean, hon? A lifetime is a very long time, and today in
society relationships are as disposible as anything else...it seems.

from now on i'm communicating with my kitty..anyone wanna talk??

the kitty may eat your bunny honey

lol

The case is... We, missing the point that life together in the same
enviroment can be the most annoying and full of crap.it has nothing to
do with picking up Daises in a vast fields.

We cannot force anyone to train or tame, whatever, to get use to to life
together.
Once again ... Before we falling in love or choosing to live or not to
live together ... We have to make sure ... our partner are capable to
communicate and DO have a sense of humor.

I dunno Nene how to explain it ... This is the best English version I
was able to produce ... cuz Scotty trying to nibble on my tongue right
this minute. hahaha




like how do you mean, marina?

like you say, life is life... and, we are human and do and say dumb
things... I suppose wether the person admits it and does something about
stopping it themselves is the thing.

But, how do you mean, hon? A lifetime is a very long time, and today in
society relationships are as disposible as anything else...it seems.

(walks in) oh this isn't about real food (shrugs and walks out)

hehehe

I'm ready for dinner, too. Hungry.

marina,
I think I understand what you mean.
I certainly can't base my relationships on this thing, LOL!
Unless it is the past two yrs. of freindships, and loves...

I might still carry some naive thoughts around.

All the things I practice LOL

SO WHAT WE EATING ?

Our own brain ... I guess Devin hahaha