Topic: How to start dating???? Help!!
no photo
Sun 11/02/08 08:32 AM
Went on my 1st date and they guy talked about sex !!! I am 60, single, and a lady and scared to death. 2nd date he wanted to come to my house and hang out. This guy doesn't have any friends or family locally....should I be suspicious????
indifferent

rebel58's photo
Sun 11/02/08 08:39 AM

Went on my 1st date and they guy talked about sex !!! I am 60, single, and a lady and scared to death. 2nd date he wanted to come to my house and hang out. This guy doesn't have any friends or family locally....should I be suspicious????
indifferent


Yes I would be.

no photo
Sun 11/02/08 08:40 AM
have people peeking in but no replies.....hmmm

no photo
Sun 11/02/08 08:41 AM
I feel a liile suspicious but am so new at this. widowed for 1 1/2 yrs

MicahStevens's photo
Sun 11/02/08 08:42 AM
Yeah. Sounds like he wants to get in your pants. At worst he could be dangerous, but I'll assume not. It's helpful to keep it in mind just in case though, until you trust someone, you should always have an out.

Now keep in mind, all guys if they're healthy want to get in the pants of the girl they're pursuing. This isn't aberrant, in fact, I'd be worried if this wasn't the case.

The important point is, that if he's making you feel uncomfortable, which it sounds like he is, he's not being mindful of your needs, which possibly indicates a range of potential problems.

Just play it safe until you know more about people is my advice.

beachbum069's photo
Sun 11/02/08 08:43 AM
Edited by beachbum069 on Sun 11/02/08 08:43 AM
I'd look for another person to date.

PacificStar48's photo
Sun 11/02/08 08:43 AM
Wouldn't be a guy I would invite to my house. trust your instincts. If this guy makes you feel creepy; He's a creep. He had to know he was making you uncomfortable and enjoyed it so it won't get better and probably a lot worse if you let him come around. I would not talk to him on the phone either. Get caller ID and it will be easier to avoid him. There are nice guys out there. Don't give up. Better luck next time.

no photo
Sun 11/02/08 08:45 AM

Went on my 1st date and they guy talked about sex !!! I am 60, single, and a lady and scared to death. 2nd date he wanted to come to my house and hang out. This guy doesn't have any friends or family locally....should I be suspicious????
indifferent


Always, always listen to your "gut" instinct. Seldom if ever is it wrong!

no photo
Sun 11/02/08 08:45 AM
Thanks for the insightful and truthful reply. I agree.

PacificStar48's photo
Sun 11/02/08 08:47 AM
P.S. Sorry this was a bummer date. It is tough trying to get past loss and you did NOT disserve this jerk I am sure. (((HUGS)))

no photo
Sun 11/02/08 08:49 AM
Uh, yeah, be suspicious. Sounds like you are on his menu!!

PacificStar48's photo
Sun 11/02/08 08:54 AM
Edited by PacificStar48 on Sun 11/02/08 08:56 AM
I don't know what your process was meeting this guy but I have learned that you really test the waters so to speak before you go out with some one. It doesn't weed out all the creeps but it improves the odds. I send a few emails, make a few telephone calls, and always meet in a public place that you can easily walk away from if some guy acts like a creep. Got to say I have passed on a lot of candidates before it ever got past emails. I have learned not to give anyone my home number because it is so easy for them to find out exactly where you live and a lot of other stuff. A cell phone is enough. Nice guys are not looking to come hang out and mooch off of you. Sex is not obligitory and neither is talking about it until you are comfortable with the conversation.

no photo
Sun 11/02/08 10:58 AM
You all have given me alot to think about. Thanks. I don't feel comfortable with this and I am going to end it.
I don't want to be a little ole lady who is scared to death of life but I also am not good at being used or being a victim either.

PublicAnimalNo9's photo
Sun 11/02/08 11:03 AM
one other piece of advice? Use the internet to your advantage, there are several sites available that will allow you to do a background search on people for a small fee. If you know his full name (middle name(s) included) you can even try googling the name. Some police records are open to the public and so will show up in Google. I actually did this for a woman I was involved with. Turned out that she had been arrested and charged with disorderly conduct, simple assault, assaulting a police officer, resisting arrest or detention, and that it wasn't the first time she'd been charged with some of those.

This is a very useful tool to use for any person of romantic interest.

brenlee1965's photo
Sun 11/02/08 02:41 PM

Yeah. Sounds like he wants to get in your pants. At worst he could be dangerous, but I'll assume not. It's helpful to keep it in mind just in case though, until you trust someone, you should always have an out.

Now keep in mind, all guys if they're healthy want to get in the pants of the girl they're pursuing. This isn't aberrant, in fact, I'd be worried if this wasn't the case.

The important point is, that if he's making you feel uncomfortable, which it sounds like he is, he's not being mindful of your needs, which possibly indicates a range of potential problems.

Just play it safe until you know more about people is my advice.


You are Smart, intuitive and honest! I agree with all that you said!

mcattygarnett's photo
Sun 11/02/08 03:01 PM
I would start finding someone else to date quick.