If you die on Halloween you automatically go to Hell

what if you're born on Halloween?

hell bound

you wouldn't have to purchase a costume each year for halloween,,,just go in your birthday suit

My grandma will be 91 Friday

Signs that your mobile home is haunted



1. Your can of Skoal mysteriously floats through the air.

2. Blood drips out of your simulated wood paneling.

3. The eyes on the velvet Elvis painting move.

4. The room is spinning, and you're not even drunk yet.

5. That car in your front yard isn't on blocks -- it's levitating by itself.

6. Your dog, Bo, gets sucked into the TV set, and he's blocking your view of rasslin'.

7. That mysterious scratching below the floorboards? The Telltale Raccoon.

8. The chain the ghost rattles is attached to his wallet.

9. You feel an eerie presence every time "Freebird" plays on the radio.

10. The trailer is shaking, but there's no tornado in sight. (I would just think this was my son and daughter in his bedroom! - J.R.)

11. Your Dale Earndhart bed sheets have eyeholes cut in them.

12. The ghost is completely invisible except for the tobacco juice running down his chin.

13. Mysterious footsteps seem to be stomping out "Achy Breaky Heart."

14. There's a funny howlin' noise comin' from the corn crib -- no
wait, that's just Jimmy.

15. You hear strange moaning - but only during Shania Twain videos.

16. You're missing four PBR's, and the missus only drinks Old
Milwaukee.

17. The lights turn on and off even though you paid the power bill.

18. You hear blood-curdling screams, but both neighbors are still in jail.

19. You get a mysterious phone call that says, "I know what you did last NASCAR race."

20. Instead of saying "Boo," the ghost says "Boo-ya'll!"

21. The veneer of window grime looks just like Calvin ... and he's taking a leak on YOU!

22. Instead of naked women, your playing cards, all of a sudden, have
pictures of covered bridges on them.

23. The folks on Jenny Jones discuss domestic problems that eerily resemble your own.

24. You get a creepy feelin' and it ain't because that Richard Simmons is on TV.

25. You come home one day and it's ... clean!

I would email that to myself at work, but the work filters will block it. Sadness, it amused me.

love it