I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get ahold of me, they just say "Mitch,"
and I say "what?" and turn my head slightly.


I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you
exactly which way it's coming.


I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.


I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to
sitting in a semi-circle.


The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.


You know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last
night,


I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where
they're
going and hook up with them later.

"I like escalators, because they can never break they can just become stairs."

Too bad he died but at least he left enough material behind to keep us entertained.

True...so very true. I just listened to him in the car.

do you know Eddie Izzard?

R.I.P...Mitch!

Yes, I know of him but Ive never seen his standup.