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| Topic: Just sad.... | |
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Have you ever loved someone that never loved you back. Have you ever given all you can to that person only to have them turn around and call you their "friend." Not that there is anything wrong with friendship but seriously there comes a point when two people are just the right fit and that's all there is to it. He comes and goes out of my life. Its always seasonal. And when it starts to heat up he leaves. This time to an ex girlfriend that he apparently can't let go of. I don't think I can handle this kind of heart break again....maybe I won't be there next time he comes calling.... I've got one of those too. Every time she gets in a jam, she suddenly can't live without me. As soon as the problem is solved, I'm not needed anymore. And it's my own fault for putting up with it -- but she is so intelligent, so creative, so everything I've ever wanted in a person, except for the consistency and sincerity parts. And I keep telling myself maybe next time, it will be different. And I know it probably won't be. But I also know I'll never find anyone better. |
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Have you ever loved someone that never loved you back. Have you ever given all you can to that person only to have them turn around and call you their "friend." Not that there is anything wrong with friendship but seriously there comes a point when two people are just the right fit and that's all there is to it. He comes and goes out of my life. Its always seasonal. And when it starts to heat up he leaves. This time to an ex girlfriend that he apparently can't let go of. I don't think I can handle this kind of heart break again....maybe I won't be there next time he comes calling.... I've got one of those too. Every time she gets in a jam, she suddenly can't live without me. As soon as the problem is solved, I'm not needed anymore. And it's my own fault for putting up with it -- but she is so intelligent, so creative, so everything I've ever wanted in a person, except for the consistency and sincerity parts. And I keep telling myself maybe next time, it will be different. And I know it probably won't be. But I also know I'll never find anyone better. You said she is everything you have ever wanted and this guy could literally have nothing monitary to offer me and I still would love him. That's how I know its unconditional. I can't promise I won't be there again, and I'm not saying I wouldn't be stupid for being there. But loving him just hasn't seemed like to much of an option for me...? |
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Nothing worse than being used as a convenience when no one else is there for them Like a drive through right? Grrrr, yes exactly!! He's not trying to marry me that's for sure. Matter of fact we have never even been commited to eachother other than friends. |
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This is the kind of thing that I had with that girl I was telling you about earlier. I've loved her all my life. We were in 4th and 5th grade together and "boyfriend and girlfriend" then. Then she disappeared. When we were both 18 we found each other again, and have had a relationship like you have ever since! We've never been an "item" either, but I've loved her all my life. She even tried to come back again in my life as late as 4 years ago, but I wouldn't let her. I had to let her stay out of my life many, many years ago in order to be happy. She lived in California since we were 18, but I've been out there from Texas and Louisiana MANY times just for her. But not in the last 15 years. I wouldn't allow her to treat me the way you are being treated despite my feelings. And, the feelings eventually go away to a point where they don't hurt anymore. They're just bittersweet.
I could share more if you wanted. |
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You said she is everything you have ever wanted and this guy could literally have nothing monitary to offer me and I still would love him. That's how I know its unconditional. I can't promise I won't be there again, and I'm not saying I wouldn't be stupid for being there. But loving him just hasn't seemed like to much of an option for me...? Yeah, it doesn't have to make any sense -- and there's always that "Dead End" sign hanging over your head -- but the good times are SO good....so much better than the best times with ANYBODY else -- that it can almost seem worth it....almost.... I just don't see any realistic way that I could ever meet anyone as smart, as funny, as creative, as everything, as she is. I've been with many other people, but they all seem like cardboard cutouts compared to her. She's not just different from anyone else, she's their polar opposite. And that's intriguing, and exciting, and always desirable. Everyone else, by comparison, is a yawn, maybe a yawn and a half. I still hold out some hope to meet one more truly substantial person in my life, someone who offers more than "I don't know what to write here." But they are so rare....there are so few "outside-the-box" people where I am, and to try to be mainstream would just kill me. |
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You said she is everything you have ever wanted and this guy could literally have nothing monitary to offer me and I still would love him. That's how I know its unconditional. I can't promise I won't be there again, and I'm not saying I wouldn't be stupid for being there. But loving him just hasn't seemed like to much of an option for me...? Yeah, it doesn't have to make any sense -- and there's always that "Dead End" sign hanging over your head -- but the good times are SO good....so much better than the best times with ANYBODY else -- that it can almost seem worth it....almost.... I just don't see any realistic way that I could ever meet anyone as smart, as funny, as creative, as everything, as she is. I've been with many other people, but they all seem like cardboard cutouts compared to her. She's not just different from anyone else, she's their polar opposite. And that's intriguing, and exciting, and always desirable. Everyone else, by comparison, is a yawn, maybe a yawn and a half. I still hold out some hope to meet one more truly substantial person in my life, someone who offers more than "I don't know what to write here." But they are so rare....there are so few "outside-the-box" people where I am, and to try to be mainstream would just kill me. Well that truly is a shame. Seriously, I mean its good that we are both able to step outside of our funk though to try to enjoy someone eles's company. lol! I actually have been in other relationships that I enjoyed thoroughly. Just seems everytime HE comes back I melt. Maybe because we haven't ever been commited and that is somewhat challenging for me...who knows?! |
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WOW, I thought I was over the relationship I had like this until I read your thread. It has been over twenty years. I can tell you that part of the draw for me was the challenge of making him love me enough to give up everything for me. It never happened, I was the taboo for him, a haven he could run to when it was comfortable for him. Oh, I was the only one that truly understood him etc...
Many years later, we are friends of sorts, occasionally he tries to tell me that he made a mistake, but I am glad he did. i still feel the pain, angry and resentment |
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WOW, I thought I was over the relationship I had like this until I read your thread. It has been over twenty years. I can tell you that part of the draw for me was the challenge of making him love me enough to give up everything for me. It never happened, I was the taboo for him, a haven he could run to when it was comfortable for him. Oh, I was the only one that truly understood him etc... Many years later, we are friends of sorts, occasionally he tries to tell me that he made a mistake, but I am glad he did. i still feel the pain, angry and resentment Isn't that something? I really hope he does realize what an ass he has been but chances are when he does it will be to late. Isn't that how the saying goes? |
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Nothing worse than being used as a convenience when no one else is there for them Like a drive through right? Grrrr, yes exactly!! He's not trying to marry me that's for sure. Matter of fact we have never even been commited to eachother other than friends. you are allowing this so , you are to blame also!! from what I have seen here, your either a booty call for him or a safety net. if you want something more than that, stop the cycle and do something about it..... your the only one that knows what that may be!!! |
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Nothing worse than being used as a convenience when no one else is there for them Like a drive through right? Grrrr, yes exactly!! He's not trying to marry me that's for sure. Matter of fact we have never even been commited to eachother other than friends. you are allowing this so , you are to blame also!! from what I have seen here, your either a booty call for him or a safety net. if you want something more than that, stop the cycle and do something about it..... your the only one that knows what that may be!!! hahaha! How about both can I be both? lol! Oh geez so why is it that men aren't attracted to the ones that provide the safety net/best sex they've ever had? :) (insert snicker here) |
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Have you ever loved someone that never loved you back. Have you ever given all you can to that person only to have them turn around and call you their "friend." Not that there is anything wrong with friendship but seriously there comes a point when two people are just the right fit and that's all there is to it. He comes and goes out of my life. Its always seasonal. And when it starts to heat up he leaves. This time to an ex girlfriend that he apparently can't let go of. I don't think I can handle this kind of heart break again....maybe I won't be there next time he comes calling....  
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Have you ever loved someone that never loved you back. Have you ever given all you can to that person only to have them turn around and call you their "friend." Not that there is anything wrong with friendship but seriously there comes a point when two people are just the right fit and that's all there is to it. He comes and goes out of my life. Its always seasonal. And when it starts to heat up he leaves. This time to an ex girlfriend that he apparently can't let go of. I don't think I can handle this kind of heart break again....maybe I won't be there next time he comes calling.... forget the "maybe" part, dont be there...no matter how afraid you are to not be with him, its not worth it, Ive been there..its better to be without than to deal with heart ache over and over, hes not going to change, he doesnt have to because your making it easy for him to stay the way he is.. |
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Have you ever loved someone that never loved you back. Have you ever given all you can to that person only to have them turn around and call you their "friend." Not that there is anything wrong with friendship but seriously there comes a point when two people are just the right fit and that's all there is to it. He comes and goes out of my life. Its always seasonal. And when it starts to heat up he leaves. This time to an ex girlfriend that he apparently can't let go of. I don't think I can handle this kind of heart break again....maybe I won't be there next time he comes calling.... I'd like to think that for your sake you won't but it's kind of like an addiction... If I say just the right thing If I touch him this way If I do... I do the same thing. Boy do we sell ourselves short! Try to be strong is about the best advice I can give you. To tell you to dump the a$$, wouldn't solve a thing. I know, that's what everyone tells me. I'm hanging onto the hope that I'll just out grow him. Maybe you will to!
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Have you ever loved someone that never loved you back. Have you ever given all you can to that person only to have them turn around and call you their "friend." Not that there is anything wrong with friendship but seriously there comes a point when two people are just the right fit and that's all there is to it. He comes and goes out of my life. Its always seasonal. And when it starts to heat up he leaves. This time to an ex girlfriend that he apparently can't let go of. I don't think I can handle this kind of heart break again....maybe I won't be there next time he comes calling.... good decision 
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Nothing worse than being used as a convenience when no one else is there for them ..very powerfully said....however, there may indeed be something worse - being used as a convenience when there is someone else for them..but the person is so blind/obsessed to see.. roco |
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Nothing worse than being used as a convenience when no one else is there for them Like a drive through right? Grrrr, yes exactly!! He's not trying to marry me that's for sure. Matter of fact we have never even been commited to eachother other than friends. you are allowing this so , you are to blame also!! from what I have seen here, your either a booty call for him or a safety net. if you want something more than that, stop the cycle and do something about it..... your the only one that knows what that may be!!! hahaha! How about both can I be both? lol! Oh geez so why is it that men aren't attracted to the ones that provide the safety net/best sex they've ever had? :) (insert snicker here) boys are still trying to find themselves...... |
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Have you ever loved someone that never loved you back. Have you ever given all you can to that person only to have them turn around and call you their "friend." Not that there is anything wrong with friendship but seriously there comes a point when two people are just the right fit and that's all there is to it. He comes and goes out of my life. Its always seasonal. And when it starts to heat up he leaves. This time to an ex girlfriend that he apparently can't let go of. I don't think I can handle this kind of heart break again....maybe I won't be there next time he comes calling.... This reminds me of your situation...if youve never heard it before...pay special attention to the last verse http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIyxkZod2cM |
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Have you ever loved someone that never loved you back. Have you ever given all you can to that person only to have them turn around and call you their "friend." Not that there is anything wrong with friendship but seriously there comes a point when two people are just the right fit and that's all there is to it. He comes and goes out of my life. Its always seasonal. And when it starts to heat up he leaves. This time to an ex girlfriend that he apparently can't let go of. I don't think I can handle this kind of heart break again....maybe I won't be there next time he comes calling.... Ummm....seriously...." he comes and goes "???? He should have been GONE a couple of times ago. |
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I seems like with a "friend" like that you don't need enemies. You all deserve better. You set the standard of how people treat you. You let them make you a doormat then you can't get a lot of sympathy when they walk all over you. By setting such low standards and being sucked in by these emotional vampires you are too drained to attract the attention of good people who are right under you nose. You DO have the power to have better.
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Thank you all for your thoughts on this topic. I do appreciate them ALL!!
I think letting go of a person and situation like this would be hard for alot of people. The realization that maybe I don't think enough of myself to stop tolerating this behavior has been hard to swallow. Sounds like I need to take some time out for ME! |
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