ok so here my story everyone:

i had dated this girl for about a year a while back in california. when i graduated high school, for some reason i decided to fly to florida to go live with my brother for a little while, just to get away from the parents ya know?

my sweetheart (lets called her Kat, thats not her real name but i dont wanna use real names for the story) was of course upset but we made it work long distancely for a while, nearly a year and a half. we talked nearly everyday, either in voice, text or letters, then about 3-4 months before i was supposed to fly back to california so i could go to college and be back with her, she says she couldnt do this anymore and she broke up with me, bam just like that.

so of course im devastated. i frantically try to sell my car as fast i could so i could get outta there and fly back ASAP. about 2 weeks before i fly back, she tells me shes moving to las vegas, its not too far away from my home in california so i wasnt TOO upset about that.

she had told me she started dating some guy for a little while, but then he had joined the navy and moved to florida (kinda weird huh?) and was stationed there for a while. we both still talked nearly everyday, just to say hi, and how are things and what are you up to, blah blah blah. she lived in vegas for maybe 6 months, and i was back in california all this time, working and getting ready for college and all. she decides she wants to move outta her parents house and back to california. at first she stayed at one of her friends aunts houses, she lasted there about 3 months, and soon got "evicted", so she calls me and tells me whats going on. i tell her, that she could stay with me, and i would help her get a job, find a place to stay, ALL that stuff. she was excited and said sure. i drive and pick her up, her and all her 100 bags of clothes and make-up and all that girly stuff girls have. and we get back to my house. she was happy and we talked a lot.

she unpacked a lil, and got ready for bed, now even tho i have a huge couch and my sisters room was empty cuz she was outta town for a while, Kat decides to sleep in the same bed as me..yeah..i was surprised too. but i was kinda weiry about it and just went along with it keeping my distance for the time being cuz at this point im a lil confused.

all in all. she stayed at my place for about a month, we would go out for dinner, movies, friends houses, swimming, bike riding, all the above pretty much. slowly slowly we became more comfortable around eachother, more comfortable sleeping in the same bed, we would tickle eachother, all that kinda stuff.

soon i had helped her get a job, i had found her a place to stay at one of my friends houses who was renting out rooms in his home to some other friends and couples.

lemme cut this a lil shorter. after all this, in my eyes, i had a feeling of a 2nd chance to get back with her, who wouldnt after everything that had happened?? so one evening when we were driving, i told her:

"you know i still care a lot about you, and that i would help you any way you would need, but how do you feel about us?

she thought about it for a quick moment and just came out and told me,

"im sorry but those feelings just arnt what they used to be"

and then this is what boggles my mind a bit she then says:

"im dating someone from my work"

and i ask her:

"well what about your navy guy?"

she responds:

"oh we broke up about 2 weeks ago"

at this point i grew a bit angry but not enough to show, it was pretty much silent the rest of the drive.

but it doesnt end there, the next morning RIGHT after we had this talk, she calls me early morning and asks me how am i doing and if im coming over today, and that she had broken up with the guy at work. i dont even think they had even gone on a date, just texting and cell phone talk i believe.

so ladies and gents this is where i am atm. stuck, and not knowing what to do. i would greatly appreciate it if i would get some feedback and response or even just some support on my dilemma. or if you have any questions feel free to ask and i will answer. i just need some help and guidance. please.

Run from this girl as fast as you can. You deserve better and can do better.

I would need more information to give a fully-developed assessment, but right now it sounds like you're the Emergency Backup Safety Net. That's a role with very little future and a WHOLE lot of heartache....

You killed all of the feelings when you left her to go to Florida and she doesn't trust you to not do it again, stop giving her everything she wants stop all the contact and go on about your life.

Well, that totally sucks.

I wish that I could say that I've never been treated that way, but it's happened to me too--not exactly the same way, but a similar pattern of confusion and deception that went on for a couple of years.

I'm working and cooking right now (yep, I'm multitalented, like you!) so I will be brief:

The longer you keep hanging onto this relationship, the worse it's gonna get. You should get out now and be grateful that you didn't actually do something like marry her, or get her pregnant, or something horrible like that.

It's going to hurt, but it's going to hurt worse six months from now if you keep trying to fit this treacherous b!tch into your life.

And I usually won't diss another female even if she seems sort of flaky but that is EXACTLY what this girl is: She is an immature, narcissistic, stupid, manipulative, treacherous b!tch. If you get rid of her now--and get COMPLETELY rid of her, don't talk to her, don't text her, don't IM her, get rid of whatever of hers you have left and just cross her out of your life--you will at least have some pleasant memories. If you wait she's just going to think of another way to screw you over, and next time it will be even worse.

Good luck. Somewhere out there there is a really nice girl who is going to treat you with the affection and respect you deserve. I hope this helps. yours in Chaos, Scarlett

People like this are "users." I hate to tell you. Sounds like she wants a safety net, but when she finds other venues, you are just a friend. Sorry- but you need to let go of this one.

move on

i was afraid of that. always felt i was a "plan b".

Anyone who makes you feel like "plan B" needs to go. Find someone who makes you feel loved. Not like a plan at all.

I'd work a second job and give her full access to your bank acct......make sure she knows she can buy anything she desires.....prolly wouldnt hurt to sign a few credit cards for her too!!!




~~~NO!!! its not crazy......not anymore than asking for advice on a dating sight!!!

you know whats right ,and what you need to do!!!

I totally agree !!!!! Good luck...you deserve better.

you are worth more then that

I HAD A CALIFORNIA GIRL LIKE THAT TOO, IN OHIO
HAVENT TALKED TO HER FOR A LONG TIME AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL
WE DID EVERYTHING TOGETHER TOO SHE WAS LIKE MY BEST FRIEND
BUT WHEN YOU ARE MERELY A CONVENIANCE TO THEM, ITS TIME TO MOVE ON

You are a male girlfriend to her, she knows that you will always be there no matter what she does to you. Make yourself unavailable to her.

Yes it is time to move on, you deserve to be loved for who you are not what you can give or do.

The first thing that stuck in my head was who gets stationed in Florida.....hmmmmmmm I think she is playing you big time.

There's a Navy base in Jax Florida...

for as long as ive known her though, and all the talking and keeping in touch and how much we enjoy each others company. its hard to believe that she is just "using" me. there has to maybe be still some feelings there right? that cant just be it

don't do this to yourself, don't turn into one of those "nice" guys...

If she loves you the only way you will know for sure is to cut her loose and stop being her wallet, shoulder, and general punching bag when life doesn't go her way, let her deal with her issues then and ONLY then can she be anything to you except a leach...

I just wanna pinch your cheeks your so cute. Unfortunately life is not always fair. You can't make her into the person you want her to be. What would you tell a friend who had the same story? Think of it more objectively.

my brother and a few friends pretty much have said the same thing. just stop, and let her be on her own and see what happens. just go do my own thing for a while and see what unfolds from it. guess thats really my only option at this point