Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!

The farther south you go, the more dollar stores there are

Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers

The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and shoot all the other computers

If you want a language that tries to lock up all the sharp objects and fire-making implements, use Pascal or Ada: the Nerf languages, harmless fun for children of all ages, and they won’t mar the furniture

COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning

LISP = Lots of Irritating Silly Parentheses
The beginning of the programmer’s wisdom is understanding the difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program

Squash one bug, you’ll see ten new bugs popping

Everytime i time i touch my code, i give birth to ten new bugs

boast = blogging is open & amiable sharing of thoughts

We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again

Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted

If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBO

Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner

Bad or corrupt header, go get a haircut