I don't spank it doesn't work.I have plenty of things I can take away.

Putting a hand on a child in a hitting fashion is not tolerable in the least. NEVER should a child have to be struck (spanked)..Never once has my daughter been spanked, and she is top honors and one of the most respectful children I have ever seen. It's the parenting, and hitting proves nothing...

If it's okay to hit children when they are wrong, then it should be okay to hit adults as well...Lord knows none of us are perfect..

It's simply just not "okay"

I think that the tone of voice is the ticket. I have not had to spank my kids......I just have to give them that I am serious as a heart beat voice.

Remember they are people too.

Spanking is, for me, a last resort, but it IS a resort. I agree wholeheartedly with the originator of this thread that parents should be free to be parents without being afraid of CPS. I have had a few experiences with CPS because of family members calling them (they had vendettas, let's not get into it), and every one of mine has been positive. CPS isn't out to destroy families; their primnary concern is for children who are truly being abused. Their primary problem is stupids who call them for dumb reasons. Now, on my record they have a note that says I have family members who call and to disregard. This, of course, is after a few years of them watching me and my household to be sure that the calls were bogus, which I appreciate because it means that they do their job for children who ARE being hurt, but they have never even mentioned taking my kids away from me. Don't be afraid of CPS. They really do want you to be with your children.

And in washington, at least, spanking is legal. It is considered punishment, not abuse. It's when it follows into beating that it crosses the line, in the law's eyes as well as my own.

You are guilty until proven innocent with CPS...seems that way doesn’t it? It’s like a witch hunt. All someone has to do is make an accusation against you and then the next thing you know your explaining your self to BIG BROTHER.

See, that's not at all my experience. That was my point. They have to follow through with calls in the chance that a child is being harmed. I give kudos for that. But they do NOT assume you are a bad parent. They want you to be a good parent, not only for the kids' sakes, but for theirs. It's easier for them to write off a case than to follow through with legal action. Now, maybe CPS where you are is bad, but where I am they take everything into account. Once, when my elder two girls were little, they took off while I was asleep in the morning, looking for Daddy's job. CPS interviened when a lady from a nearby store found them on the street, my then 2-year-old (now 10), with her diaper trailing along her ankles.

CPS came to my house WITH my kids, after a cop came and checked to see that my home wasn't a meth lab (it was a mess but he said it was the best place he's seen all day. When I said that was sad he said "you have no idea. You don't have booze, drugs, porn, rotten food, dirty diapers on the ceiling etc. Your place is great" ). I explained that I had been up all night with my newborn baby (Joei, now 7), and slept in because of it. They showed me how to lock my door so the kids couldn't get out.

The end.

That, by the way, is the only official recored I have with CPS. All else is dumb people calling for dumb reasons and CPS recognizes that.

Maybe you're right. I have only herd horror stories and do not have first hand experience with CPS. I am thankful that there is someone looking out for abused kids. Those people who make false accusations against parents on purpose should have to pay some kind of penalty though.

Hmmmmmmmmm, seems like a lot of people think they know everything.

For one, children are people just as you or I........and though you may have had fairly manageable ones.........there are others who are as strong willed as any adult I have ever met.

It IS NOT the parents fault when a child misbehaves......it is the child's responsiblity.

Kids do not learn from spankings as effectively as they do from examples..........

There are several physical/mental/emotional reasons that effect a child in public places with a bunch of people that they don't know.......that may indeed cause them to "meltdown".

Each child is different..........please do not assume what worked for you or yours will work for all.

Children are not lil robots.......who are polite, well behaved, perfect beings who do as they're asked........UNLESS you have broken their will, and that is a sad thing indeed, imo.

But, anyhoo...........I have a difficult child, who challenges me everyday..........so I kind of know what it is like.....and understand rather than judge.

In that case, people that feel spanking ( hitting whatever you want to call it) is okay, should as well be hit when they need to be "punished." Get a speeding ticket, get hit...Dont do your job (chores) correctly or defy your boss? Get hit....

I will be the first one to line up to smack someone that hits a kid

Society takes your money when you screw up or it takes your freedom. That is why we teach children about boundaries and how to behave so that they will not end up in prison or poor. Teach them before society teaches them the hard way.

Children don't need to be spanked to learn about boundaries.

There are other alternatives.

Well, wouldnt that equal taking a toy or something the child may cherish away as a punishment? Instead of hitting?

Whats fair is fair

More like making the child live in the back yard ... you know like a homeless adult who cant pay his rent because he didn’t pay his tax's and the fed's emptied his bank account...yeh more like that.Plenty of adults get spanked in prison and worse you know.

Cant quite relate to a child not doing their chores or having a tantrum in relation to your description

I know it’s extreme but my point is a little spank will not destroy a child’s self esteem and cause them to be emotionally scared for life. You can’t always reason with a child…they are not adults for goodness sakes.

So many parents want to be friends with their children these days and that’s just not normal in my opinion.

Kids who don't learn that there are consequences to their actions grow up to be adults who don't care that there are consequences. My children are all very different. One of mine reacts to grounding. Another reacts best to being spanked. When I was a kid I got spanked and I have to this day never been in any kind of physical fight. Every kid needs a different kind of punishment. And I'll be damned if I'm going to let my kids grow up as spoiled tyrants who think the world owes them everything on a silver platter.

And by the way, a spanking is an open-handed whack on the bottom until the kid realizes it hurts then STOPPING. Anything more is abuse, IMHO.

You said it better...good job.

I'm a single mom of a 2 year-old girl. I never wished to spank my girl, yet now see that she's attempting to run the whole show. Lately, it's been a scene of constant testing to see just how much mommy will allow. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't make me a victim. I created this and now must do all that is needed to help foster independence and a fuller understanding of actions and consequences.

I've just begun giving her little swats on her diapered bottom. I feel so awkward, yet know that something needs to be done to break a cycle.

I've been a wimp and have given her all she wants so she'll love me. Who's the parent here? D'oh!



So, I'm learning as I go, how to set boundaries and stick to them. I feel like a giant thumb in this.

You strike me as a very happy person...Good for you Smiles a lot:)

Being a parent is a day by day learning experience. Then we look back and wonder where the time went.

Can you 2 yr. old understand time-outs? One minute for each year of age. It's worth a try. Mine got an extra minute for hollaring at me.