A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen
you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg?" the bartender asks. "You didn't have that
before."
"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm
fine now."
"Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
"We were in another battle." replied the pirate. "I boarded a ship and
got into a sword fight My hand was cut off I got fitted with a hook. I'm
fine, really."
So the bartender asks, "What about that eye patch?"
The pirate replies, "Oh, one day we were at sea, and a flock of sea
gulls flew over. I looked up and one of them **** in my eye."
"You're kidding, " said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just
from bird ****."
The pirate responds, "It was my first day with the hook."

ah so ah he hooked himself in the eye or it was the bird ship that did
it?

This could have been a good reply for the pirate in the “what’s the
stupidest thing you’ve done” thread. Or is scratching your eyeball with
a hook considered the worst thing you have ever done to your self…either
way, funny…

LOL