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Topic: Should i tell her right away
bfriends4now's photo
Mon 03/19/07 09:09 AM
Ladies, what do you think. What should I do. I met a woman my age that
I really!!!!!! want to date. her first complaint in an emil the next
day was that I held her too close during a slow dance, and that I would
have to "slow down". In the last week she seems more reluctant to see
me. I hate to sound stupid, desperate, and nerdy, but should i tell her
that [and this is honestly the way I feel] that I will not push her for
sex right away. I would rather have a real relationship, to be able to
buy tickets for a concert in June, and know she will still be happy to
be with me then. Rather than a roll in the hay and a "hit and run"??????
Sure, I love to get laid, but where does that fit on the scale of
importance at my age??

Why cant a woman put off that fear [if it really is, is it??!?!?] until
the guy asks, and if she wants she could take Nancy Reagan's advice and
"jsut say no" or do so if she wishes to do so??

kojack's photo
Mon 03/19/07 09:11 AM
Give her some space. Don t call or try to contact her.
See if she calls you, if she does she s interested, if not, you got your
answer about June.

whispertoascream's photo
Mon 03/19/07 09:13 AM
Honesty is the best policy. Tell her how you really feel. And if she can
not except you for who you are then maybe it is time to move on. So tell
her.

buttons's photo
Mon 03/19/07 09:15 AM
sounds to me that u have already dated herlaugh and if she saw u
after the first email of telling u that u were too close.. id say she
has some interest.. yea just take it slower.. if ya take her dancing how
about asking her to dance on the ones that arent slow dances? id say if
ya really like her maybe let her make the first move..

browneyedgirl21's photo
Mon 03/19/07 09:28 AM
I think you should tell her the truth. Take it slow if that what she
wants, but you guys should talk to eachother about it first. Don't just
stop talking to her, i understand the whole you will b able to see if
she is interested, but she could also take it the wrong way and think
you are not interested anymore, especially after she asked you to take
it slow. Trust me i have a few guys tell me that they didn't just want
sex, and in the long run that is all they wanted, so she might have a
hard time believing you at first. Just show her the real you, and it
should all work. flowerforyou

bfriends4now's photo
Mon 03/19/07 09:38 AM
Hi Buttons,

We met at a nightspot a week ago Saturday. She seemed to like the close
embrace that night. I ahd planned to not be so intense if we danced
again. have problems with the fast dances, i ahve two left feet. I was
waiting for her promised phone call last Sat. as we had planned by email
for our 1st date taht night. had knots in my stomach all day. No call.
Said she via emial that she left a voice mail, there was none. I could
wait, but I could also wait to play quarterback for Dolphins.

the woman I met the previous week told me she would email or call me
never did either. is there soemthing in the water here??

buttons's photo
Mon 03/19/07 09:45 AM
well just let her know in a email back to her that u sorry that u didnt
get a message..i dont know if someone else in your house could of gotten
it? or did u look at old email u sent her to see if u typed it wrong? or
if ya didnt maybe she dialed or wrote it down wrong.... but she already
knows u want to date her.. so rather if u typed it wrong or not and no
one else could of gotten message just email her let her know u didnt get
the message and rewrite your phone number in the email and check it
before u send..if she doesnt call after that then id say forget about it
sometimes will take a busy person a week to respond though...

buttons's photo
Mon 03/19/07 09:46 AM
ps... dont tell her that u dont want her for sex ,,not that u do but
that stuff doesnt go well just treat her with respect and she will know
that

bfriends4now's photo
Mon 03/19/07 09:57 AM
Thnx Buttons

buttons's photo
Mon 03/19/07 09:58 AM
your very welcome:smile:

nurjoyce's photo
Mon 03/19/07 10:12 AM
i agree with Kojack.
i think you might have moved too fast for her.
if you do not back off, you will scare her off.

nurjoyce's photo
Mon 03/19/07 10:12 AM
i agree with Kojack.
i think you might have moved too fast for her.
if you do not back off, you will scare her off.

no photo
Mon 03/19/07 10:18 AM
I say just take it slow, show her respect and don't try to make any
moves on her. Be honest and let her know you like her and want to take
things slow and at her pace and you would like to know what her pace is
so that you don't cross any lines. She sounds like the type that would
respect that, but you know her better than I, it could blow up in your
face (I hope not though).

no photo
Mon 03/19/07 10:19 AM
Listen!! Don't tell that woman nutten!! How U decide it is that woman u
really want to date or continue dating? Because of her appearance? U met
that woman in a club? Was she drinking the fisrt time when she liked or
did not say if she did not like the close dance? That woman is not ready
4 u. U have 2 search right here or another mating site, for a woman that
is equally attractive or more, and is ready after U see as much as U can
inside her head. Then U will know b4, if the woman u are going to meet
face to face and date, love what U love and has reached the same place,
in wishes, where U have reached. Talk to several women on the online
sites first to understand their head; then gradually eliminate whom u r
not in agreement with. Do not force no one to agree with U. See who
agrees with U already. Then when it comes down to one, go personally and
date that one; and dance close as you want. By this time U both will
have already built emotions for each other, otherwise the relationship
would not have reached so far. Then date that one only.

bfriends4now's photo
Mon 03/19/07 10:22 AM
I know that I will ahve to back off, yes.
As far as finding anothe woman taht suits exactly my style, it will be
four years next May 31 since i met a woman who could really float my
boat. I am no babe magnet.

MikeMontana's photo
Mon 03/19/07 07:01 PM
She got spooked. I guess thats the only honest way to say it. She
probably sensed that your feelings towards her were at a much higher
level than her feelings to you. Sorry, I know that stings.

In one way, take it as elusive honesty. She didnt jerk your chain with a
weasely "mmmm lets see how it goes", but, she didnt give you a straight
forward "sorry its not on the same level".

All around, I would agree with the other posters, back off, let it be.
Dont tell her you're 'sorry' unless you really did something obvious
and, really wrong. She'll think you're just playing the "i will tell you
anything you want to hear" game.

Let the sting of it subside. Then maybe give her a call, or an email.
Make it light and casual, along the lines of "would you like to go out
again? I would - are you free?". If you get a positive response, all is
good. If you get anything less, then, you have your answer for June: she
got spooked.

Hope that was helpful,
-Mike

no photo
Mon 03/19/07 07:20 PM
Wait a minute - is the concert in June something you want to take her to
or something she wants you to pay for????

no photo
Mon 03/19/07 10:26 PM
yes... tell her.

no photo
Mon 03/19/07 10:29 PM
I FOR ONE RESPECT THE MAN WHO IS MAN ENOUGH NOT TO PUSH SEX, SEEMS TO ME
THATS ALL THEY AFTER, WHY I DONT KNOW. WHATS WRONG WITH JUST PLAIN
GETTING TOP KNOW SOMEONE AND LETTING TIME TAKE IS CORSE NOT ONE DARN
THING STAND UP FOR YOUSELF, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORKSblushing happy

mtironroses's photo
Mon 03/19/07 10:29 PM
be careful........

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