I have been asking myself what i do that is worth anything. i fight my demons and i make mistakes but it doesnt seem like i do things right very often, or even at all .
for almost a year now i have had to accept the help of total strangers to help fix my life because of the things i have done and the things that have been done to me.
for so long it has seemed like that all i do is take and take. and i have felt lower than a bum for it.
then the other night i met someone who seemed to understand my pain, indeed he seemed to weighted so far down with his own he felt as though he couldnt get back up. like me so long ago he seemed to be asking a question that has haunted me for as long as i remember, why go on?
my heart ached for him, and for the countless others that are thrust into darkness. and i did the only thing i could, i gave him my words and my hand. i tried to a light a flame that seemed as though it had been snuffed out.
i didnt get an answer for a few days, and i worried. had i not acted soon enough? and i wept for a man i had never met because i knew his pain.
then i recieved a message, it was him, thanking me. and all i could was smile.
all the self loathing thoughts left me and the poem by emily ****inson resounded in my mind.

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.


despite my pain,i had helped someone. even though i have thought my life to be worthless, i now had value.
by helping him i have helped myself to realize that as long as i do what i can, if i have saved one soul from aching, i have not lie in vain.

Thats deep

Great writing!!

your greatest wisdom comes from your greatest pain, and you won't know immediately usually, but it has a way of making realization on down the road of life in many forms. in realizing this, you will save many, with selfless acts, for that becomes the true way......and it's addicting.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Lovely Sara a namesake my Daughter carries as well,, Such beauty within you,, flows so gracefully