An Amish farmer, walking through his field, notices a man
kneeling down and cupping a hand to drink from the farm pond.
The Amish farmer shouts, 'Tr ink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen
haben dahin gesheissen.'
(Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the cows SHlT in it'.)

The kneeling man shouts back, angrily, 'I'm a Muslim, I don't
understand you. I speak Arabic and English. If you can't
speak in the sacred tongue of Islam, speak to me in English.'

The Amish farmer replies, 'Use two hands, you'll get more.

PERFECT!