These were taken from actual newspaper clipping.

#1
Headline: Swimmer Trappped by Beach Balls

A MAN got a nasty surprise when he tried to get out of his deckchair and found his testicles had become stuck between two slats of wood. Mario Visnjic had been swimming naked off Valalta beach in Croatia and his testicles had shrunk in the cool sea. When he sat down they slipped through the slats and then, as he lay in the sun, expanded back to normal size. He was freed after he called beach maintenance services on his mobile phone and they sent a member of staff to cut the deckchair in half.

#2
Headline: Buzzing undies make shopper faint.

A WOMAN collapsed in a supermarket when her vibrating panties made her fain with pleasure. The kinky 33-year-old house-wife was wearing a pair of battery-operated Passion Pants, bought from a sex shop, while she did her shopping, according to the British tabloid The Sun. But she got so stimulated by the 6cm vibrating bullet in the panties that she lost consciousness. She fell and hit her head in the crowded supermarket in Swansea, Wales. When paramedics arrived, they found her black imitation leather knickers still buzzing. They toom them off before an ambulance took her to hospital. The woman, whose identity has been kept private, suffered no long-lasting ill-effects. And as she left the hospital, a paramedic gave her back the Passion Pants in a plastic bag. A spokesman for the Asda supermarket chain told The Sun: “We like to think shopping with us is exciting enough already.”

#3
Headline: Teatime love bite

A WOMAN almost bit off her husband’s willy as he cooked pancakes for tea – while she gave him oral sex. In the heat of passion he lost his grip on the pan and spilt boiling oil down her naked back. She clenched her teeth on his willy and in agony he bashed her on the head with the pan. Both only admitted how they received their injuries after “intense questioning” by hospital docs in Carioca, Romania. The man needed treatement to his willy while the wife had burns, tow black eyes and a broken cheek bone.

omg!

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