Community > 50 and over

Topic: What is wrong with me in Tennessee?
carold Joined Sun 03/23/08 Posts: 26747	Tue 07/29/08 06:43 PM
Ah Cherokee & CarolD, There's this guy I have liked for so long and it felt mutual, BUT, we never got together nor did I ever get to the part where I felt like I was getting what I wanted..... Then today I find him advertising on another site where I have been for so long.... Breaks my heart...why doesn't he see me for the goo, loving person that I am or was to him.... Its all such a nasty game...I gave him the space he seemed to need..made the effort not to be clingy....it didn't do any good.. brokenhearted too. Just a player it hurts

oldsage Joined Thu 09/14/06 Posts: 18043	Wed 07/30/08 07:24 AM
Maybe your all trying to hard. Relax & let life flow around you. Like a guy, don't be coy, ask him where you stand & if there MIGHT be a future. You know; "Fish or Cut Bait." You get from life, what you put in. Go out & "GET ER DONE"

polypeasant Joined Tue 02/27/07 Posts: 1319	Wed 07/30/08 02:42 PM
Good advice old sage.... I watch bridezillas on Style Network... These women treat their up and coming mates horribly....and yet the men marry them... don't want to be a b****....BUT never a doormat... Cheers and trying to relax

carold Joined Sun 03/23/08 Posts: 26747	Wed 07/30/08 03:29 PM
Maybe your all trying to hard. Relax & let life flow around you. Like a guy, don't be coy, ask him where you stand & if there MIGHT be a future. You know; "Fish or Cut Bait." You get from life, what you put in. Go out & "GET ER DONE" Smiles LOL always like your advice :)

cherokeeangel53 Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 76	Wed 07/30/08 04:17 PM
Ah Cherokee & CarolD, There's this guy I have liked for so long and it felt mutual, BUT, we never got together nor did I ever get to the part where I felt like I was getting what I wanted..... Then today I find him advertising on another site where I have been for so long.... Breaks my heart...why doesn't he see me for the goo, loving person that I am or was to him.... Its all such a nasty game...I gave him the space he seemed to need..made the effort not to be clingy....it didn't do any good.. I'm sooooo sorry, Poly. I met a man like that once. I was as good to him as a baby. I removed all my profiles and he stayed on the match making sites. Sometimes I think you can be too good to a man also.

cherokeeangel53 Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 76	Wed 07/30/08 04:19 PM
Old Sage, I wished it was just that easy. But one thing I will do, I like the part about Fish or Cut the Bait. I'll come right out and ask from now own. If there is no chance of a future then why waste time.

polypeasant Joined Tue 02/27/07 Posts: 1319	Wed 07/30/08 06:36 PM
Cherokee, Fish or cut bait...yes it is worth a try.... Now on another route... there is this free getogether org. in a lot of the major cities. In Honolulu they are pretty active....and free free free.. It is call meetin.org I looked up Nashville, TN and they have one. It would be called meetin.org....then click on Nashville. It social outings. Lunches, dinners, hiking, movies, happy hours. A lot of why I don't meet people or MEN is not getting out there.... exposure...exposure... I know a man on a white horse won't find me unless I leave a trail of oats

cherokeeangel53 Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 76	Thu 07/31/08 06:31 PM
Poly, tried all of the above, seems every where I go a man is with a woman. Gets tiresome sitting alone and watching them laugh together.

cherokeeangel53 Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 76	Sat 08/02/08 01:44 AM
I'm almost afraid I'll marry the first guy that comes alone just to keep from being lonely...that is if one comes alone. I've had dates, it's just nothing lasting.

carold Joined Sun 03/23/08 Posts: 26747	Sat 08/02/08 05:46 AM
I'm almost afraid I'll marry the first guy that comes alone just to keep from being lonely...that is if one comes alone. I've had dates, it's just nothing lasting. Yeah be very careful of putting you name legally with anyone else. That is why I say I don't know if I'll marry again. I say long term relationship soul mate. Now in a perfect world. lol That would be different. You really need to know someone a long time. I've been married twice don't know about that again. Hope to see you on some of our other 50's topics too :)

sparkleplenty424 Joined Mon 07/21/08 Posts: 463	Sat 08/02/08 06:22 AM
I'm almost afraid I'll marry the first guy that comes alone just to keep from being lonely...that is if one comes alone. I've had dates, it's just nothing lasting. you will still be lonely if you marry the wrong person. Better to be alone and free than to be married to someone that is wrong for you. I would give anything to live alone. The freedom!! I would love it. Fill your life with friends and you will never miss having a man.

oldsage Joined Thu 09/14/06 Posts: 18043	Sat 08/02/08 11:56 AM
Cherokee, don't marry right off, try him out fro a bit, to make sure it is real. In other words, just use him awhile & see if he stays the course. Also, a prenup. is manadatory at our age. Lets you keep what you bring to the relationship, if it goes south. PROTECT YOURSELF.

musichic Joined Wed 04/11/07 Posts: 8937	Sat 08/02/08 12:14 PM
wouldn't consider any kind of long term relationship without a document say what's mine is mine and what's urs is urs. Marriage? maybe/maybe not. need to enjoy life more first

oldsage Joined Thu 09/14/06 Posts: 18043	Sat 08/02/08 12:19 PM
She's got the right idea. You know that if you marry before 62, you lose previous husbands Social Security, FOREVER.

carold Joined Sun 03/23/08 Posts: 26747	Sat 08/02/08 02:57 PM
There you go think about it. And some times it is our up bring that pushes us to marry so take time and don't let lust push you into it.

cherokeeangel53 Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 76	Sat 08/02/08 08:31 PM
She's got the right idea. You know that if you marry before 62, you lose previous husbands Social Security, FOREVER. I didn't know that, my mother married twice (once before 62)and was still getting my dad's SS...and they divorced when she was in her 40's...I've got 37 years tied up in this marriage and walked away with a little furniture and 5K...there's no way I'm going to lose the SS too! Okay, I want to live with a guy...lol. Next question, is how do you know it is a relationship for the long run if the guys tend to run before the long happens?

musichic Joined Wed 04/11/07 Posts: 8937	Sat 08/02/08 08:40 PM
i'm not sure that living with the guy would be my solution either. It's nice having some space sometimes. If you live close, each maintains their own place. If you both maintain ur individual places if he runs then he does. You still have u and ur place. Then u only have to deal with the emotional breakup. I haven't found anyone to have a long term relationship with.

carold Joined Sun 03/23/08 Posts: 26747	Sun 08/03/08 07:18 AM
She's got the right idea. You know that if you marry before 62, you lose previous husbands Social Security, FOREVER. I didn't know that, my mother married twice (once before 62)and was still getting my dad's SS...and they divorced when she was in her 40's...I've got 37 years tied up in this marriage and walked away with a little furniture and 5K...there's no way I'm going to lose the SS too! Okay, I want to live with a guy...lol. Next question, is how do you know it is a relationship for the long run if the guys tend to run before the long happens? lol I think you answered your question :)

musichic Joined Wed 04/11/07 Posts: 8937	Sun 08/03/08 08:29 AM
yea we often know the answers to our own questions, sometimes we just have to talk it out to realize it.

carold Joined Sun 03/23/08 Posts: 26747	Sun 08/03/08 12:55 PM
yea we often know the answers to our own questions, sometimes we just have to talk it out to realize it. That is for sure