Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: So...............
tmicindy Joined Sun 06/08/08 Posts: 76	Tue 07/22/08 08:17 PM
great advise but this guy knows my family and he is always around.........he is a long time family friend........... then he should respect your relationship and want you to be happy. been there, done that... he should go curbside

Tanzkity Joined Wed 04/30/08 Posts: 3743	Tue 07/22/08 08:25 PM
I agree with drjac, it takes a really strong relationship to endure that kind of thing once you have been intimate with someone. It may be his pride talking so go with the one who has your heart and make sure you give him all of it. I tend to agree with Kim on this...no need to kick him to the curb, a long talk is in order tho Yeah ty i tried to talk to him that night but he wouldnt hear it..........

missy51970 Joined Fri 11/02/07 Posts: 12712	Tue 07/22/08 08:28 PM
I agree with drjac, it takes a really strong relationship to endure that kind of thing once you have been intimate with someone. It may be his pride talking so go with the one who has your heart and make sure you give him all of it. I tend to agree with Kim on this...no need to kick him to the curb, a long talk is in order tho Yeah ty i tried to talk to him that night but he wouldnt hear it.......... Well, sometimes its hard for people to hear the truth. If hes a good friend and you dont want to lose him , just keep trying to talk to him good luck

Tanzkity Joined Wed 04/30/08 Posts: 3743	Tue 07/22/08 08:31 PM
I agree with drjac, it takes a really strong relationship to endure that kind of thing once you have been intimate with someone. It may be his pride talking so go with the one who has your heart and make sure you give him all of it. I tend to agree with Kim on this...no need to kick him to the curb, a long talk is in order tho Yeah ty i tried to talk to him that night but he wouldnt hear it.......... Well, sometimes its hard for people to hear the truth. If hes a good friend and you dont want to lose him , just keep trying to talk to him good luck Im just afraid that he might go and sabotage my relationship for the sake of wanting to hurt me as he thinks I have hurt him..............im screwed............

fuzzi Joined Wed 09/05/07 Posts: 66	Tue 07/22/08 08:38 PM
Kick it with a tasty groove. You don't want drama

907daydreamer Joined Thu 06/19/08 Posts: 2829	Tue 07/22/08 08:49 PM
Im just afraid that he might go and sabotage my relationship for the sake of wanting to hurt me as he thinks I have hurt him..............im screwed............ can't you just be upfront with your boyfriend about him and your past and your recent conversation with this other guy?

Tanzkity Joined Wed 04/30/08 Posts: 3743	Tue 07/22/08 08:57 PM
Im just afraid that he might go and sabotage my relationship for the sake of wanting to hurt me as he thinks I have hurt him..............im screwed............ can't you just be upfront with your boyfriend about him and your past and your recent conversation with this other guy? My bf is a good guy and i think he will take it well but its so much a man can take especially him being a family friend and my parents being so close to the guy.....................i dk its not easy trying to get rid of irrational people in your life especially when they think that you have hurt them...................

Amathyst2 Joined Thu 06/19/08 Posts: 1226	Tue 07/22/08 09:12 PM
i just told a friend who when I was single I used to have a friends with benefits situation until I got into a relationship with the man im with...............well last night i he called and i told him of how great my boyfriend is and that we are thinking of long term meaning marriage type of thing..........he goes and tells me that he loves me.............should i keep talking to him as a friend or kick him to the curb................. First of all you have to ask yourself if this other guy will be able to "just be friends" without any expectations or complications. Only you can answer that. I would stay in the relationship you're in because it is evolving into something promising. If this other guy loved you it wouldn't of been a hit it and quit it situation. It's crazy what some people will do when they find out that they could lose you as a fuc buddy.

907daydreamer Joined Thu 06/19/08 Posts: 2829	Tue 07/22/08 09:28 PM
.....................i dk its not easy trying to get rid of irrational people in your life especially when they think that you have hurt them................... exactly. this other guy isn't going anywhere and telling your bf sooner will only help him feel like he is more in the picture.

Goofball73 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 33913	Tue 07/22/08 09:29 PM
i just told a friend who when I was single I used to have a friends with benefits situation until I got into a relationship with the man im with...............well last night i he called and i told him of how great my boyfriend is and that we are thinking of long term meaning marriage type of thing..........he goes and tells me that he loves me.............should i keep talking to him as a friend or kick him to the curb................. I don't think he, your FWB, meant what he said. I mean, all this time, you guys have had this "thing" with one another, and now you are serious about someone and he knows that you guys' "thing" is all but done, so he tells you that he loves you. He may think that he does love you, but in reality all he is doing is trying to preserve the relationship you guys have. Trust me. Guys don't like losing a FWB (cause normally that means the sex is great, but that is all there is and that is all that you want).

puckthefackers Joined Tue 12/11/07 Posts: 1004	Tue 07/22/08 09:31 PM
If you really had feelings for your boyfriend, you wouldnt be asking this question.

Redshirt Joined Tue 02/26/08 Posts: 2109	Tue 07/22/08 09:33 PM
Yeah just wait til the new beau finds out about this "old family friend" and your past with him. Cut him loose. Strongly agree with Michiganman. In situations like that no one wins. Cut him lose...live in the present not the past.

fdp1177 Joined Tue 07/01/08 Posts: 190	Tue 07/22/08 09:36 PM
A "kick to the curb" isn't necessary, but be firm and demand your space. If he really is a good friend, he will feel snubbed as anyone would, but it won't be long before you can have conversation back and forth without the worry of ulterior motives... no long as in 6 months to a year. You made your choice, this is some of the collateral.

Tanzkity Joined Wed 04/30/08 Posts: 3743	Tue 07/22/08 09:37 PM
i just told a friend who when I was single I used to have a friends with benefits situation until I got into a relationship with the man im with...............well last night i he called and i told him of how great my boyfriend is and that we are thinking of long term meaning marriage type of thing..........he goes and tells me that he loves me.............should i keep talking to him as a friend or kick him to the curb................. I don't think he, your FWB, meant what he said. I mean, all this time, you guys have had this "thing" with one another, and now you are serious about someone and he knows that you guys' "thing" is all but done, so he tells you that he loves you. He may think that he does love you, but in reality all he is doing is trying to preserve the relationship you guys have. Trust me. Guys don't like losing a FWB (cause normally that means the sex is great, but that is all there is and that is all that you want). We stopped being FWB a long time ago this is something he just came out with...............he had a girlfriend and i hadnt talked to him for at least 6 months.............so we didnt even have the sex thing going anymore........

Tanzkity Joined Wed 04/30/08 Posts: 3743	Tue 07/22/08 09:39 PM
If you really had feelings for your boyfriend, you wouldnt be asking this question. Because he is a family friend its a little complicated than that and I love my boyfriend I just dont want the guy to end up screwing up something because he now thinks he has feelings for me.................thats what im afraid of..........

Goofball73 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 33913	Tue 07/22/08 09:44 PM
i just told a friend who when I was single I used to have a friends with benefits situation until I got into a relationship with the man im with...............well last night i he called and i told him of how great my boyfriend is and that we are thinking of long term meaning marriage type of thing..........he goes and tells me that he loves me.............should i keep talking to him as a friend or kick him to the curb................. I don't think he, your FWB, meant what he said. I mean, all this time, you guys have had this "thing" with one another, and now you are serious about someone and he knows that you guys' "thing" is all but done, so he tells you that he loves you. He may think that he does love you, but in reality all he is doing is trying to preserve the relationship you guys have. Trust me. Guys don't like losing a FWB (cause normally that means the sex is great, but that is all there is and that is all that you want). We stopped being FWB a long time ago this is something he just came out with...............he had a girlfriend and i hadnt talked to him for at least 6 months.............so we didnt even have the sex thing going anymore........ I still think that he didn't mean it. Like I said, he might "believe" he does, but I just feel it was a reaction response. But hey, I could be wrong here.