Topic: DOH
MikeMontana's photo
Fri 03/09/07 09:05 PM
Had an interesting week - hope you get a giggle out of it.

Trying to overcome my paralyzing shyness I struck up an interesting
conversation with a lady at a lecture we had both just attended -
discussing theology of all things. Go figure, but, it was all good fun.
Later, I thought to myself, "I shoulda asked for her number". Doh.

A few days later I'm on the train, and a lady sits down next to me. 99%
of the time, nobody says nothin to each other on the train. Like there's
some "unspoken rule of silence" (but ppl can carry on detailed personal
arguments loudly on their cell phone...) Anyway, somehow we just started
talking and were hitting it off really well. Too well I think - as we
were chatting she realized she nearly missed her stop, almost missed the
closing door. Doh.

So, as fate would have it, I ran into the 1st lady again. Immediately
struck up a conversation, and she explained she was headed back to
California in an hour or so. A crowd of ppl washed out of the lecture
room interrupting us as we stood at opposite sides of the doorway,
meanwhile my buddy called me over to help him move something - turned
around and she was gone. Doh.

Fate has a great sense of humor.

no photo
Fri 03/09/07 09:09 PM
Wow, and YES, been there,!!
I have found out that "YOU" may "NEVER" get another chance at
"ANYTHING", so I now try to "NEVER" "NOT-ACT",,,,it bugs me to damm
much!!!:wink: drinker

Marie55's photo
Fri 03/09/07 09:21 PM
Maybe it is an age thing with me, but used to be horribly shy, but over
the years, and also worked jobs where I was forced to talk to lots of
different people (as an admin. secretary in the prison system) both on
the phone and in person. I had bosses who made me grow a backbone and
had to take a hard line with people and deadlines, etc. I got to where
I enjoyed talking to people. Heck will talk to almost anyone now,
shucks guess they can't shut me up.

nurjoyce's photo
Sat 03/10/07 10:36 AM
I am very shy plus old fashioned- think that the guy should do the
asking. I know...stupid DOH
Same things happen to me all the time.

no photo
Sat 03/10/07 10:49 AM
Im shy too.

I wish we could say and converse just like we do here on this site in
real life.

My work forces me to socialize and its no problem but its with guys and
very few women.

90% of the time I ask a woman out they say no, its only when women ask
me out that I get a date.

ALL of my LTR and gfs were started by women. I jut think women now what
they want and go for it, maybe they are tired of men not asking them and
they are head strong and get what they want, and in my case theve always
gotten me.

nurjoyce's photo
Sat 03/10/07 10:54 AM
Mike- you have everything going for you
You are attractive, intelligent, compassionate..
Any woman would be crazy not to give you her number
unless she is already taken.

OnALark's photo
Sat 03/10/07 10:56 AM
Sorry, Joyce; I don't agree. At this age, I know that I cannot overlook
a potentially good thing. I have taken risks, but have been very
careful with whom I corresponded. I have met some very nice people and
actually, I think my future husband. Don't discard the spontaneity.

nurjoyce's photo
Sat 03/10/07 10:59 AM
that is why I give out my cell (not my home) and then you can talk.
i learn a lot about someone by talking to them.

OnALark's photo
Sat 03/10/07 11:38 AM
Cell phones . . . they are a good thing; I do the same

DANE1973's photo
Sat 03/10/07 12:19 PM
I feel for you Mike, very rarely does life ever give us second
Chances.You should go for what you want when you have it in front of
you,because If you don't, someone else will.Drown your shyness,or regret
it forever buddy.

oldsage's photo
Sat 03/10/07 01:24 PM
OK Uneducated midwest guy. What is "DOH"

unsure's photo
Sat 03/10/07 04:18 PM
"DOH" means UMM I AM STUPID but I always say "DUH"

I just had a little situation in the store, this guy and I kept going
down the isles and every time we would pass each other and kind of
chuckle. I kept thinking, geesh I know him, I think he is from Bremen.
Of course I didn't say anything to him because I am shy but I just kept
smiling at him and kind of laughing as we passed each other~~this was
last saturday!!
So I went back to the store today and was kind of hoping that he would
be doing his weekly shopping there today~~~NO LUCK!!

oldsage's photo
Sat 03/10/07 04:21 PM
Thought maybe that was it, Thanks

verbatimeb's photo
Sun 03/11/07 07:17 AM
Hello MikeMontana,

Something to remember. Being a shy man is the worst part of your story.
Think how she might feel. She probably thinks you were not interested in
her at all and only killing time. Why? You did not take the
"initiative".

Many, many women of all ages have been told to let the man do the
persuing and you know what? It comes natural to some of us, actually
MANY of us. So even if she was incredibly interested in you, she might
not ask for a phone number or suggest another meeting between the two of
you. Women, in general, wait for the man to make a move, the first moves
anyway. ALMOST ALWAYS.

THE MAN HAS TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE in most cases. You either have to
overcome that shyness or face being alone dude. Oh crap, that sounds
harsh when I read it over, but is not intended to be harsh at all.
um... just my .02 worth and I might add a few pennies to that...

I know a ton of women will jump in here and say "NOT SO". Now, I am as
INdependent a woman as you will find anywhere, and have never been
co-dependent in my life, even when married. But I am not forward with
men I am interested in as a dating/courting partner and that is what
makes these situations (man/woman meetings) so hard for both.

Mike, by your photo, you are a very attractive man so buck up dude, BE
CONFIDENT and take the initiative, just say:

"wanna grab a cup of coffee?"
"Ccan I walk you to your car?"
"Say, let's chat again, can I have your phone number?"

Look in the mirror and practice, if you have to, but do it. Your
chances are quite good (probably excellent) that if you are having a
nice chat with a lady she will say "YES".

Gor for it. NOW, it is a plug nickels worth! lol.

Have a great and blessed day,

Verb

happy

verbatimeb's photo
Sun 03/11/07 07:19 AM
Sheesh, sorry about the typos... I need to get moving on here and was
rushing...

now running! Yikes!

no photo
Sun 03/11/07 07:48 AM
Ill try and take that advice too.

thanks verb.


I guess I have been spoiled because women have always asked me out, no
not because of my looks, Im just average but I do smile a lot and Im
friendly and nice.

When I go to the bars to shot pool (which is rare) I might ask woman to
shoot some pool with me, since this is a resort town these women are
really nice and from Denver and want to relax. Im just myself and Im a
kind man in general and we might talk and soforth, then they will
usually ask me out or for my number.

But I have to say that I usually can only do this when Ive had a few
beers.

But like you said "buck it up."



Thanks, maybe I will try it in the mirror, LOL :wink:

verbatimeb's photo
Tue 03/13/07 04:27 AM
BearandWhiskey,

I am not sure why but men NEVER ask me out. Once they know my situation
with taking care of a handicapped man, they shy away.
It is a big part of my normal day around here and is one of my JOBS so I
have never figured out the problem, exactly.

I guess they do not like it that he now lives in my house. You think?
lol.

laugh

Verb

oldsage's photo
Tue 03/13/07 04:58 AM
Verb,

I do some travei in my business, with more to come. I get your way, we
will go to dinner.

Don

verbatimeb's photo
Tue 03/13/07 05:30 AM
Oldsage, you are on! Thanks for the invite...

Verb

happy

MikeMontana's photo
Wed 03/14/07 07:01 PM
Wow, a fun topic! Got some interesting replies. Thanks - I agree "take
the iniative" and that was what i meant by "DOH" - the realization that
"DOH - i shoulda asked". And it strikes me as funny that I act so silly.