1 - My mother taught me to
APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside I just finished cleaning"

2 - My mother taught me
RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet"

3 - My mother taught me about
TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4 - My mother taught me
LOGIC
"Because I said so, that's why"

5 - My mother taught me
MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me"

6 - My mother taught me
FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident"

7 - My mother taught me
IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about"

8 - My mother taught me about the science of
OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper"

9 - My mother taught me about
CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10 - My mother taught me about
STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone"

11 - My mother taught me about
WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it"

12 - My mother taught me about
HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.. Don't exaggerate!"

13 - My mother taught me the
CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!"

14 - My mother taught me about
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

15 - My mother taught me about
ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do"

16 - My mother taught me about
ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home"

17 - My mother taught me about
RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18 - My mother taught me
MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way"

19 - My mother taught me
ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20 - My mother taught me
HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me"

21 - My mother taught me
HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up"

22 - My mother taught me
GENETICS
"You're just like your father"

23 - My mother taught me about my
ROOTS
"Shut that door behind you.. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24 - My mother taught me
WISDOM
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand"

25 - And my favorite:
My mother taught me about
JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

I love "if you cut off your toes, don't come running to me!"

How true!

8 and 9 are hilarious

That list doesn't have my personal all-time favorite on it though, when you tell Mom you lost something and they respond with

"Well, where did you see it last?"

Gee, if I knew that, I'd probably know EXACTLY WHERE TO LOOK TO FIND IT, now wouldn't I?

you are sooo right!!!! mind if I add to the list?

9-My mother taught me to
SEARCH
"Where was the last place you saw it?"

duh I feel foolish now

good 1 fran sounds just like my Mom
Cooly