Walks into a bar, orders 12 shots and then just starts downing one after another at lightning speed. The bartender is amazed and comment's "Wow! i've never seen anyone drink that fast!" to which the man replies back "You'd drink fast too, if you had what i had!" The bartender concerned asked "How bad could it be? What do you have?" The man finishes his last shot smiles and says "50 Cents!"

cute

Uh huh...

A woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido."What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.

"Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin!"

"Crush the Viagra and drop in into his morning coffee. He won't even taste it," replied the doctor. "Try it and call me in a week to let me know how things went."

A few days later the woman called the doctor and exclaimed, "Oh, it was horrid, just terrible, doc!"

"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.

"Well, I did as you advised me to do and slipped the Viagra into his morning coffee and it took effect immediately. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent
the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped my clothes off and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me right on the tabletop!
It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"

"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor. "Do you mean the sex you wasn't any good?"

"Oh, no, doctor, the sex was best I've had in twenty-five years!

But we can never go to Starbucks again!"