We have all had bad experiences in relationships. We have all been hurt
at one time or another. But we also, in our own ways, have hopes and
dreams that there may come a time when we meet someone who we can truly
mesh with.

Isn't that the whole point of a dating site in the first place -- ??
I'm not talking about a casual sex site, or seemynakedllama.com, or
anything like that, I'm talking about people who want to meet someone in
the hopes of finding something real and lasting....

OK, I have been watching a couple of threads where we basically have two
guys who apparently have not had much luck with women, and who have
apparently decided that all women are superficial stereotypers. I do
not believe this to be accurate, but, hey, everybody's entitled to their
own opinion.

A number of JSHers have tried pointing out that these guys are
essentially sabotaging themselves by putting their negativity out there
so strongly, but it's clear that the two in question are not listening
and have no intention of trying to see things from anyone else's
perspective.

Again, fine, they have a perfect right to hold on to their convictions,
right or wrong.

However, I think there can be a problem when these guys jump on a newbie
in the New Members section and immediately inundate him/her with
comments to the effect that every woman in here will automatically
stereotype every man who shows up.

Newbies don't know the site, they don't know how this place operates,
they don't know the caliber of the majority of the people here. Newbies
could be scared away by this kind of disinformation being thrown at them
as soon as they sign up.

This is NOT the way to make JSH grow! If we expect new people to join
and post and become members of this community, we HAVE to let them come
in and SEE FOR THEMSELVES what this site is all about. That's the only
way they will see that this site is DIFFERENT from all the others.

All I'm saying is this: If you want to post about how nobody likes you,
how everybody stereotypes you, how there's no such thing as a decent
woman anywhere in the world, well, I disagree with your opinion, but you
certainly have the right to express yourselves.

Just please do it in General Discussion or some other forum where it
will not scare the newcomers away before they get a chance to try the
site. The Welcome New Members forum is for that -- to welcome new
members, to give them information about the site, not for a small but
vocal faction of malcontents to scare them off.

I would like to see this site grow and prosper -- is that too much to
ask?

And, guys, if you really find this site so distasteful and unpromising,
no one is holding a gun to your head and making you stay.

Very well said Thank you .....

well writen!!!

WOW Well said Lex. I agree with you full heartitly. Loved how you add
that little joke in there about the llama. anyways. It was very well
put. Thank you.

((Lex)))



I Really enjoy reading your words. Look forward to reading meore.

Okay so I just came out of my room, and want to know what a naked llama
is.
All I know about llamas is that they spit. And they look at you with
those great big eyes.
Then, so have any of you ever seen the 4-H Llama showmanship at the
county fair? Do not miss it. They are the most uncooperative animals the
gods ever put breath into. You will roll with laughter when you watch
them. These were not naked.

Okay so I just came out of my room, and want to know what a naked llama
is.
All I know about llamas is that they spit. And they look at you with
those great big eyes.
Then, so have any of you ever seen the 4-H Llama showmanship at the
county fair? Do not miss it. They are the most uncooperative animals the
gods ever put breath into. You will roll with laughter when you watch
them. These were not naked.

You have a way with words

Lex,,, So very well put,,,



````naked Llama's Wow!!! gotta see that one `````` must make note of
that web address...``````

Hey Lex, yeah this has all been said before: Just think, if we ever got
the moderators in here that they were talking about they could just
delete those Posts...

Lex you do have a certain way with words if I may say so myself. Your
knowledge of words one can understand why you
write. Well all except the Llamas you do seem to have this
thing about Llamas lmao. But.......... well that is another
thread all together. lol

But back to your post you are so right about that keep the newbie thread
for only to welcome the new ones to the site
let them make there own judgements on the site once they
get to the forums. Very good points you have here.

I agree. Nobody likes me, but I don't bother newbies about it. first I
wait for them to get comfy, then I e-mail 'em and trash talk all of you
bastards!!!







Just kidding guys

Thank you for posting this Lex, so very well written, and I may have to
look up that llama web site myself, hmmmmm.

I tried arguing with the two, told them how inappropriate it was, they
refuse to listen, but you have seen that too.

I feel terrible for the way they jumped that new guy.

Thanks again for putting into words what we were thinking.

Sluggo, I'm not even thinking deleting here, just redirecting to a more
pertinent venue -- I don't want to deprive these guys of the right to
speak their piece, because I think some of what they're saying is valid,
within the parameters of their own personal experiences. And it's
possible that someone else might be able to give them some useful advice
that would actually help -- uh, if they were willing to listen to
anybody, that is.

But if we're going to have forums with titles on them, and if those
names mean anything, then it stands to reason that most posts are going
to be appropriate in the forum intended for that sort of material.
Sure, I've seen some things posted in the wrong forum from time to time,
but it's usually not a problem. But you probably wouldn't post a poem
in the Feedback forum -- nobody looks for poems there, and the people
looking for site feedback info would be confused.

I'm just saying let's let the Welcome New Members forum be for that
purpose. There are other places for the disgruntled to air their
grievances.

Ignore them. Welcome the newbies and be done with it. You're playing
their game and falling for their crap.

Can't ignore 'em if they're ambushing the newbies in the Welcome New
Members forum. That's like having strikers in front of the store, makes
it harder for the customers to get in the door and check out the
merchandise.

I understand but, You have to stress the positive. let the newbies
figure it out. These guys won't stop until you stop reacting. Either
that or post a complaint.

I agree Lex, that is why I took it so personally, felt like they
double-teamed that poor guy trying to get in the door. I really felt
bad for him and then they insulted him, saying that he had been
stereotyped because of his looks. He was a good looking kid, nothing
wrong with him, but they out and out insulted him. That is why I took
offense to it, that is the newbie welcome thread, not the "let's attack
the newcomers" thread.

Usually ignoring nuisances will make them go away, but it hasn't worked
with these two Glenn.

Take care, that is my 2 cents anyway.

Marie, that's my point, too -- those of us who have been here for awhile
can ignore people like those two, or not, as we choose -- and it really
won't make much difference in the long run. They're not going to
change, regardless.

But the newbies don't KNOW to ignore them -- as far as the newbies know,
what with coming in and being ambushed by this massive facade of
negativity and stereotyping, maybe EVERYBODY in here is like that. And
if it was me, I sure wouldn't want to sign up on a site where I thought
it was all about complaints and whining, and everybody was rude and
insulting. That's what MySpace is for.

You know, they say first impressions are important, and I think that
goes for websites as well as people.

People have to be given a chance to get in the door, see that it's a
friendly and welcoming place. Otherwise there's no reason for them to
stick around.

Lex thank u and thank u all, but it didnt hurt me one bit, i am used to
that sort of thing, but i have to admit they do have one point, I am
not the best looking guy around, but shouldnt it be whats inside that
counts?

F*%K them man!! You're cool, C'mon in.