Topic: Can you overcome differences in a relationship? | |
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Do we really need to be alike?
How alike should we be for a realtionship to truly work? I have noticed these little differences in Peccy and I. Peccy is a cat person, I am more of a dog person Peccy likes the indoors, I love the outdoors Peccy smokes, I don't Peccy is a night owl, I am more of a day person Yet, we are soo alike in other ways and sooo drawn to each other. |
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Do we really need to be alike? How alike should we be for a realtionship to truly work? I have noticed these little differences in Peccy and I. Peccy is a cat person, I am more of a dog person Peccy likes the indoors, I love the outdoors Peccy smokes, I don't Peccy is a night owl, I am more of a day person Yet, we are soo alike in other ways and sooo drawn to each other. |
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being diverse in your interests and things is great ..makes for more of a challenge...your ying to his yang...well something like that
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if you want to, sure.
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besides......your "peccy-poo" seems like a nice guy......i always enjoy his posts!
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Do we really need to be alike? How alike should we be for a realtionship to truly work? I have noticed these little differences in Peccy and I. Peccy is a cat person, I am more of a dog person Peccy likes the indoors, I love the outdoors Peccy smokes, I don't Peccy is a night owl, I am more of a day person Yet, we are soo alike in other ways and sooo drawn to each other. Now list the things that are similar in your hearts not differences in your personalities. Find your answer? |
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besides......your "peccy-poo" seems like a nice guy......i always enjoy his posts! Peccy-poo is AWESOME! |
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can cause a lot stress as well. Depends how much your willing to work with the other person and how much you're able to understand.
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My bf and I have a few little differences, but it all iron out in the end.
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besides......your "peccy-poo" seems like a nice guy......i always enjoy his posts! Peccy-poo is AWESOME! |
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You will never know if they are significant enough to make a differnece in your life until you get to MEET one another. Until then just enjoy each other!!!!!!
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besides......your "peccy-poo" seems like a nice guy......i always enjoy his posts! Peccy-poo is AWESOME! I have already went for it! I'm just hoping it will last |
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Edited by
s1owhand
on
Mon 06/23/08 08:10 AM
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oh hell there have been many happy relationships with more differences than that!! but you should discuss with each other how you would work things out....
for example - cats or dogs or both or neither? alternate indoor and outdoor adventures on vacation? go to places that have both? what activities will you do together and which will you do separately with friends? does Peccy quit smoking? smoke outside the house? have a smoking room? how about cigars? pipes? ban on clove cigarettes? does he need to shower, brush teeth, mouthwash, clothes wash after ahem indulgement? what are the sleeping times? do you stay up and party late a few nights a week or try to make every day's schedule similar? just how flexible are each of you? or is one or both of you completely inflexible on how certain things are done? if you are both flexible and willing then all of these differences can be accommodated. it is just a little more work than if there were fewer or more minor differences... and congratulations to both of you!! |
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besides......your "peccy-poo" seems like a nice guy......i always enjoy his posts! Peccy-poo is AWESOME! I have already went for it! I'm just hoping it will last |
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Edited by
lilangel2
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Mon 06/23/08 08:18 AM
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oh hell there have been many happy relationships with more differences than that!! but you should discuss with each other how you would work things out.... for example - cats or dogs or both or neither? alternate indoor and outdoor adventures on vacation? go to places that have both? what activities will you do together and which will you do separately with friends? does Peccy quit smoking? smoke outside the house? have a smoking room? how about cigars? pipes? ban on clove cigarettes? does he need to shower, brush teeth, mouthwash, clothes wash after ahem indulgement? what are the sleeping times? do you stay up and party late a few nights a week or try to make every day's schedule similar? just how flexible are each of you? or is one or both of you completely inflexible on how certain things are done? if you are both flexible and willing then all of these differences can be accommodated. it is just a little more work than if there were fewer or more minor differences... and congratulations to both of you!! Well on the pet issue, I have both...but cats are generally outdoors while the li'l doggys are spoilt and on inside. (Aslo got one spoilt sleeping with me, Peccy says he don't sleep with dogs- but I can compromise and put her in a cage as long as she can stay in the room.) As for smoking. Only compromise here would be for him to smoke outside. I have allergies. Sleeping patterns can be a problem. I don't function well sleeping late in day. I like to rise early and get my work done and play rest of day. I think the recreational part we could compromise on ok. I do like to be home some too and work on hobbies. I would do almost anything within reason and that wouldn't harm my health for him. I love him and I give my all to a relationship.But, giving should also be a two way street. |
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I can relate to this.
If you find compatibility in the things that matter most to you both, that's a good sign. It is also a good sign if you are able to overlook the differences. However, we tend to be better able to overlook differences and things that irk us about another person when the relationship is young and in full bloom. When things are going well. When they are not, things will irritate us more. Differences are wonderful and are best celebrated, in my opinion. It just means you have interesting ideas, experiences, and more to bring to the relationship. We learn from each other and grow. We hope that it will help us to gain tolerance for others and for lifestyles we do not understand (yet think we do). If the differences are destructive to your mind, body, or spirit, you owe it to yourself and yours to re evaluate and assess if any particular situation is right for you, however. No one can decide that for you because you are the only one who will be living your life. Best Wishes. |
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I you wanted to be with someone exactly like you, wouldnt you have just stayed single and date yourself???
Life is full of compromise no matter what you do. I think that if you have generally the same morals this goes farther than if you are opposites on the night/day issues, dog/cat issues. Have you guys even met yet or are you going to analyze this to death?? |
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I you wanted to be with someone exactly like you, wouldnt you have just stayed single and date yourself??? Life is full of compromise no matter what you do. I think that if you have generally the same morals this goes farther than if you are opposites on the night/day issues, dog/cat issues. Have you guys even met yet or are you going to analyze this to death?? HA! I think we both just don't want another We would have already met if he hadn't got into that accident. Now he has to stay there for more nuerological tests and meetings with insurance adjusters and lawyers. I am kind of tied down here with daughter, 4 dogs, and a business. So, we are kind of stuck in LDR right now...trying to make the best of it. |
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To have things you like together but it puts spice in life to have things that each like that is different.
As far as the animals who is it to say you don't have both if that is what ya want. As far as smoking that is something that will have to be worked out with the respect of both. If he smokes in the house maybe a certain room with a good air filter. Or outside. As far as the indoors outdoors part learn to share those things the other one could find out that they enjoy them more with someone they want to be around. Those are all minor things to get by. The main thing is that two people want to be together all else can be worked out if they really want to. |
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I you wanted to be with someone exactly like you, wouldnt you have just stayed single and date yourself??? Life is full of compromise no matter what you do. I think that if you have generally the same morals this goes farther than if you are opposites on the night/day issues, dog/cat issues. Have you guys even met yet or are you going to analyze this to death?? HA! I think we both just don't want another We would have already met if he hadn't got into that accident. Now he has to stay there for more nuerological tests and meetings with insurance adjusters and lawyers. I am kind of tied down here with daughter, 4 dogs, and a business. So, we are kind of stuck in LDR right now...trying to make the best of it. <----coming from a professional analyzer....in the end, sometimes all that analyzing does is nothing but stress you out. |
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