Thanks for listening, I’ve been very introspective lately and I think I just needed to vent a little (again)

My ex divorced me four years ago for reasons that get too insane to discuss here. Since the divorce we have remained friends despite several “situations” that arose when she pretty much tried to destroy me emotionally because she was pi$$ed at me for one reason or another. I understood why she did the things she did, and I forgave her. I’m not trying to make her seem like the bad guy here, because she is a really great person who has been through some horrendous things in her life. I’m not “Mr. Innocent” either. I did bad things too, but they were the result of a prolonged reaction to medications.

After moving to a new town and until quite recently she has relied on me financially, emotionally and spiritually for support, despite the fact she has had two live-in (loser) boyfriends during that time and has been alone for maybe two months total. All my friends told me to stop letting her use me. Well, she wasn’t using me per se, because I very recently realized the reason I was still helping her was that I couldn’t ignore my wedding vows, even after she divorced me, because she needed help. Maybe that’s the Catholic in me, maybe something else, but yesterday after realizing there was little I can do to help her any more I explained my situation to her and she released me from my wedding vows. I am feeling both relief and frustration over this turn of events because my relationship with her may be at least a small part of the reason I may have lost a chance at being with someone I really like... Was it all worth it? I don’t know for sure. I have finally got my ex to the point she can hopefully survive on her own. She promised she would leave me alone and not do anything that might scare off a potential future mate... I’m surviving but still all alone though, and may have lost someone so incredible...

You need to remember wedding vows may tie the two of you together, but divorce papers cut the ties apart.

The tangible ties yes. The ties you can't see are the hardest ones to cut sometimes though.

I commend you for your actions. You didn't have to take care of your exwife the way you did. It seems like you needed some form of decent closure to your marriage. It sounds like somewhere along the way you chose to be friends with your exwife and make sure she would be ok to survive on her own before you moved on with your own life. I think most people would have just left her and moved on. Now that she can support herself you should move on with your own life. Best wishes in your search for your future mate.

wedding vows my foot. Be used and use those vows as excuses. Cut your losses stop financing other men in a house which was yours once upon a vow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In just about every religion, Marriage can be terminated when one party engages in a sexual act. Your vows and level of committment were released long ago. The rest was voluntary, but assuring her safety was highly respectable. Personally, I believe that when love, honor and cherish disappears, the marriage is without value, pure and simple. That too is a part of the vows, and yet it is frowned upon in any court.

The only reason my own wife stayed as long as she did was because of her fear of driving accross country, and thankfully, her mother drove her back starting last Saturday. That sense of responsibility is sometimes a thankless task, but at minimum, I wont feel bad for my part in the end. OMG, the freedom of not having the final burden is incredible, to the point that I'm Euphoric. Oh wait, that's probably the mania. No, sheer happiness.