Topic: What Scares A Man
SaxOnBeach's photo
Thu 02/22/07 01:46 PM
Someone sent me this article this afternoon, I thought it might be a
good conversation piece....


Post a Comment What Scares a Man?
Posted by David Zinczenko
on Thu, Feb 08, 2007, 12:02 pm PST
Post a Comment

You probably think you know what frightens most men. A long-weekend at
the in-laws' place. Antiquing. Running out of beer in the third quarter.
But that's just the stuff he'll admit to being afraid of, which, by
definition, means they're not his true deep fears. So how can you
determine what those are? Easy: They're the ones he'll almost never talk
about. But I will.
Let's count down through the Scary Fifteen:
#15 Hair in the drain. The first sign of male pattern baldness brings a
man face-to-follicle with a skimpy aspect of his future. And it's always
earlier than he expects or wants (which is, like, never). Logically, men
know that baldness is as much of a part of life as Leno making Britney
jokes. Logically, men know that being bald doesn't mean that they're any
less smart, virile, or successful. Logically, men know that women don't
care how much hair their men have. Logically, men know there are plenty
of bald men who are comfortable in their skin--no matter how much of it
they're showing. But when it first happens, it feels like stepping on a
scale and being 20 pounds heavier or waking up in high school with a
quarter-sized nose pimple. It's the inevitable and uncontrollable change
in appearance that men try so desperately to protect. Maybe even more
importantly, this moment when a man starts losing his hair says a lot
about him-whether he's cool enough to handle it, or anxious enough to
attempt to deny it with combovers, Rogaine, or faith healers.
#14 Getting caught noticing another woman. A man's instinctual response
to visual stimulation very rarely has anything to do with his current
relationship or how he feels about it. But his lizard brain reacts
instantly, and before he knows he's doing it, he's looking at someone
else. We hate having to explain behaviors that even we don't fully
understand.
#13 Rejection. Doesn't matter whether it happens after a job interview,
or at a bar, or on the basketball court. And remember, there's a
difference between losing and being outright rejected. Men can handle
losing a game or having a bar conversation disintegrate into nothing.
But the proud creatures that men are, they hate having their shots
blocked. Mainly, that's because it means that someone else has the upper
hand-and is gloating about it.
#12 Super Nanny.
#11 Speedos.
#10 His dad's death. It's his most powerful moment of a reflection, as
he thinks about his own mortality. Becoming the family patriarch is
heavy stuff. For many men, it's a life-changing moment, because they
think about what their fathers did for them and what they failed to do.
The next step: Considering what they need to do to be better dads and
better men themselves--which means they must confront their own
failures, as well. That's a lot for a grief-stricken man to deal with.
He should get some latitude to do that in his own way. For him, reaching
out may be through what seem like misdirections--more chatter about
fishing with friends, an extra set of tickets to the Phillies showdown
with the Mets. But guys need a reason to get together; the talk will
come during a slow point in the 6th inning, or in the car on the way
home.
#9 Her tears. Men know it's natural, that women need to do it, and that
it's a signal that they better provide something more than just a
tissue-even though many men have no clue what that something might be.
Men have been told that women cry for all kinds of reasons-to release
some emotions, to get our attention, or just because dammit, The
Bachelor rose ceremony is so stinkin' sad. Men want to do the right
thing, but because men don't navigate those falling waters very often,
they probably do the wrong thing more often than not. Which is another
reason why they fear her emotional tsunami.
#8 Being a lousy lover. Of all the things that men want to happen in
bed, pleasing their women ranks near the top of the list, according to a
national Men, Love, and Sex survey by Harris Interactive. Men hate to
think that women may be bored, unimpressed, or unsatisfied. Maybe it's
an ego thing (okay, it is an ego thing), but men do very genuinely care
about how much pleasure a woman is having in bed. That's why the faking
thing drives men so crazy. To men, feigned pleasure is code for: You're
so damn terrible at this, but there there, little fella, I'm gonna make
you feel good about your inadequate self. Men want to know what women
want, and they want to be successful in delivering it.
#7 Not being a god to his kids. There comes a time when men don't care
much about what strangers, co-workers, friends, in-laws, or anybody else
thinks about them. But when a kid articulates his father's flaws, it's
the ultimate heart crumbler. Men know that sometimes they work too much
or are too short-fused or simply fall short on the hero-dad meter, but
deep down, they know it's the most important job that they're going to
do. And if they don't do it right, they know there's a significant chink
in their masculine armor.
#6 Living paycheck to paycheck. Even though men aren't the only hunters
and providers anymore, they still feel a deep evolutionary pull to
provide the backbone and protection for their tribe. When men lose
money, can't make enough money, or are scrounging for money, it can be
an emotional disaster-it makes them feel like they're losing control in
their lives.
#5 Beautiful women. Few things intimidate men more than IRS audits and
12-foot birdie putts. A beautiful woman is one of them. A beautiful
woman-whether spotted at work, in bookstores, driving in the next lane,
anywhere-simply has the power to turn a man of steel into creamed corn.
Men know this. Men try to resist this. Ultimately, it's a challenge.
Beauty may be a short-lived form of power, but it is profound, and
nearly all men cower before it. It can make them do really, really
stupid things.
#4 Getting naked. Ladies shouldn't think that they're alone in fleshy
hang-ups. Guys are just as concerned about what women will initially
think about their body hair, muscles, guts, toes, and other parts. Men
are deeply aware that they can be too fat, too skinny, too hairy, too
smelly, and while men are eager to revel in a woman's body, they also
share anxiety about revealing their own.
#3 Tofurky.
#2 Not seeing his kids grow up. Death, of course, scares everyone-not so
much for the bad stuff that may happen to them, but for missing out on
all the good stuff that will happen to their kids. Or, worse yet, not
being around to protect them from the bad stuff.
# 1 Public humiliation. Here's one that will make even the strongest men
cave: Looking weak. Whether a man is extremely secure-or insanely
insecure-about himself, he's worries that he'll look incompetent,
idiotic, or both. Doesn't matter whether it's a zipper malfunction, an
off-color joke he mistakenly slips in during a speech, a dismissive
statement by a boss in a department meeting, fumbling the fly ball at a
softball game, getting arrested for fighting after his kid's soccer
game, whatever. It's one thing to make mistakes. But making the
reputation-damaging ones in public is tough to take. That's because as
much as men try to protect their homes, their families, their
appearance, and their jobs, perhaps the most nerve-wracking job of all
is protecting the thing they can't cure with money, with effort or with
laser hair removal: their reputations.
What secretly scares you? Fess up and share it here.



krowraven7's photo
Thu 02/22/07 01:56 PM
demons

FlyersSteph1212's photo
Thu 02/22/07 02:03 PM
Men...ha!

krowraven7's photo
Thu 02/22/07 02:04 PM
ehehehehehehe

SaxOnBeach's photo
Thu 02/22/07 02:10 PM
That wasn't quite the reply I was hoping for :tongue:

no photo
Thu 02/22/07 02:20 PM


Thanks And i though it was us,

KosmoJoe's photo
Thu 02/22/07 02:30 PM
I geuss you have to be one to know one.

BigGlenn's photo
Thu 02/22/07 02:36 PM
I fear no man, But I fear every woman on Gods good earth!! You chicks
scare the hell out of me.

KosmoJoe's photo
Thu 02/22/07 02:36 PM
Actually it was my Mother's passing that scared me.
She was my best friend.
My deceased wife that made me scared the most.
I thought money and a place to live would scare the most but it didn't,
it was the loneliness the hurt and scared the most.

"I don't care about my reputation" Joan Jett 86'

BigGlenn's photo
Thu 02/22/07 02:40 PM
Seriously, When the ol' lady left and I realized I was raising two
little boys, I was scared to death. It's all good now. We're doin' fine.

SaxOnBeach's photo
Thu 02/22/07 02:45 PM
I guess, I know nothing about men. Always thought I would hear men be
scared of relationships/commitments/ and pushy women, ie.... the fear of
being stalked.

ipitydafu's photo
Thu 02/22/07 03:02 PM
15: no im alrdy bald...lol
14: nah. many girlfriends of the past even point them out. its ok to
notice. just dont stare and gawk at them. after awhile men can master
this w/o drawing any attn.
13: rejection is always uncomfortable for either sex.
12: super nanny - why would we be afraid of that. it only means more
time for espn
11: speedos - unless u have killer abs and a monster c--k (which i dont
have :p)
10: this is another that would apply to both sexes. losing any family is
a fear everyone has
9: this one is right on. nothing makes me more uncomfortable than a
woman crying. i want to console her, but not really sure how. im always
afraid i'll say the wrong thing and make it worse, so i just keep my
mouth shut and hold her
8: practice men, practice. this has always been a sensitive subject with
men. if a man is in a relationship one of his biggest goals is to make
sure the woman is happy with love-making. girls, u can help us by not
being shy and communicating what u want. there is no reason to be
embarrased in the bedroom.
7: that is a sad comment. it has nothing to do with masculinity.
everyone wants to be a good parent and are sad if they fall short. it
will hurt a woman to know she is a bad mother just as much as the man to
know he is a bad father.
6: a man just doesnt feel like a man unless he is a good provider to his
family. this feeling is cultural and has been bred for hundred and
thousands of years. it must be something in the dna.
5: this is pure animal instinct. this goes on in more species than
human. men can and do resist this. if not, then all of your men are
cheating on you. when a man is actually in love, it is head-over-heals
and cannot be easily brought down by desire for a younger or more
beautiful woman.
4: this is only for the first time men are intimate with that particular
woman. if nothing ego killing is said, we will walk around the house but
naked with no problem after.
3: wtf is Tofurky?
2: ofcourse, anyone would be afraid of that. come on. this is supposed
to be about fears of man, not the fears of everyone
1: men prove this theory wrong by consistently doing everything you
mentioned. some of the things are trivial which any secure man would
brush off w/o a thought. some are pretty serious that would bring a man
to tears of apology. men dont have time to fear these type of things.
we're to busy trying to figure out how to make women happy...lol

What secretly scares me: heights because im an acrophobic, bees because
i just hate those things, being a bad father or bringing a woman to
tears, losing control of myself, losing my family.

krowraven7's photo
Thu 02/22/07 03:14 PM
being homeless..thats my biggest fear..but what is fear really..not
being in control?..lack of control..? I have learned over time how to
conquer fear ,how to use mind over fearful situations..especially in
combat. I would suppose its homeless..I have gone up again
death,sickness,men much larger than me,cops,fire,jail,..yes
homelessness.