How do you pick yourself back up?

So, Ive had two great loves in my entire life. I still have feelings for both [because, for some damn reason, I cant get over either].
Im still good friends with one. He has a new love. Theyve been going out for about a year now, and I just found out today how serious it is. Its killing me because its pretty certain that he doesnt love me like he used to anymore. Thats to be expected, but still.
They started going out just as me and my last love broke up. He and I arent friends. He refuses to talk to me. Well, the girl he left me for emailed me today. She asked me how to deal with him when he gets mad - but just had to include the fact that they have a kid together and he talks nonstop about how much he hates me.

I feel like an idiot being so hurt over these things. But, these two things hit me hard. I dont know what to do with myself.
And, Id prolly vent to my friends if I hadnt pushed them all away...

Any suggestions on how to get over this crap?

I would suggest taking Yoga lessons,a ton of rope and a pulley

God sweetheart forget both of them why torment yourself

i have done that

There is no way around the pain. You have to go through it.

Ive tried really hard. I mean, my God, Ive had years to move on! I dont know what Im doing wrong or if theres just something wrong with me.

first of all you can't take everything she says about you to heart... she prob realizes you are still friends with your ex and she is trying to push you away.
There is no magical way of picking up and moving on... you have to be finally ready and do it yourself. It takes lots of time

I had a hard time getting over my Ex, too. Hated her guts for a year for what she did to me and my son. Then I got smart. I figuratively turned my back to her and walked away. Didn't have anything to do with her until the anger and pain subsided, then when I had to have dealings with her, treated her like a new aquaintence, not friend or ex wife, mind you, but like someone I had just met.
It worked for me...

Staying away from him is a great start. Then, let time do its work.

Have you considered letting New Thread help?

New thread?

The message was from the girlfriend of the guy who hates me now. I dont know why she would message me and tell me these things.

1. Get nice and drunk to blow off some steam.

2. Don't let yourself get too emotionally-involved with your relationships in the future. If they end up drifting away, let them and go find someone else.

Well, for starters, if she calls again, just tell her, "he's your problem now", very humourously, and pray for their happiness. If you do it long enough, it becomes an affirmation that you'll actually believe and you'll likely be at peace with it all. As for picking yourself up, that's purely optional, but self-pity wont attract a mate. No matter how bad it feels, the survivors put one foot in front of the other and eventually that feeling passes.

wake me up, before you go-go

Counseling does wonders. Years of obsession does not in the least sound healthy and this in no way is intended to label you a bad person, but it sounds like you could benefit from counseling or some other form of psychological therapy. I'm guessing the feelings you have now are more painful than the merits of the relationship that you're feeling loss over, failing the emotional cost benefit analysis.

You are not doing anything wrong

You have to go through pain ; sucks i know

But it will go away eventually

Give yourself time

Things will get better

Good luck to you

The 5 stages of grief........or is it 7??? I forget......does stabbing people with sporks in strange mcdonalds parking lots count as a stage???

Never heard of that one

I agree with Romeo, and I also think the best thing you can do is focus on you and do what you need to... to be happy.

Most importantly be gentle with yourself and give yourself time and space from the ex's

make yourself believe that one day you will marry a playboy playmate