Okay...I need some help here.

I've been in a relationship on and off since November 2005. Things were
going really good until the two of us started using meth (again) and
then everything went right down the ****ter. We split up in September
2006 and didn't speak or have any contact for almost 5 months. On
Christmas Eve he called and we started talking again. We tried to work
things out...but once again the drugs f*&ked everything up...and we
parted ways for a couple of weeks. We decided to try again and got a
stuidio apartment together...which lasted a week (guess why...yeppers
DOPE) and I moved back in with my mother. Now both of us have been
clean for over a month and we're talking again. He wants to try to work
things out and he has moved out of the area (200 miles away) to be away
from the RAMPANT meth scene here. He wants me to move with
him...partially so we can be together, but also to get me away from the
dope. I love him so much I can't even put it into words, but I'm scared
to uproot myself for another failure. I think if we stay clean we can
do it...the problem is staying clean. He says that for the first month
or so we'll be living with his mom and brother so that will help us both
with the sobriety thing. So what do y'all think I should do?

May you should both try staying a part for awhile and sober up away from
each other and take it slow. No need to rush. if he cares for you and
you care for him as much as you say you so then there is no need to rush
into anything.

Sounds to me like there's some mutual enabling going on. I would advise
you to both get completely clean -- completely, 100% -- before making
any plans for a committed relationship. Otherwise the likelihood of
relapse is in the 90& range. Where you are, geographically, isn't as
important as where you are mentally -- you can always find SOME kind of
drugs, anywhere you go. The trick is to know in your own mind that you
DON'T need it. And that's going to take more than a few weeks....

Hey,
Since you asked... Your relationship is completely intertwined with the
drug use. When you are together, you turn back to drugs. If you want to
BOTH give up the drugs AND be together with this guy, you need to do it
SEPARATELY. The only way to give up drugs is for yourself, if you give
them up for someone else, it will never work. So, first, you BOTH need
to get clean, THEN work on the relationship. Moving away will get you
from the users you know. But if you want it, you will find it. Whatever
you decide, good luck!!!!!!!

meth is everywhere! dope is everywhere! it doesn't matter where you go
you will run accross it, and be tempetd. it might be a good idea to stay
away for a while and keep in contact to see how things are going. i say
6months to a year. you will know by then if he has started it up again
or not, and you will also know how much you really want to be with him

Don't know why I'm even posting. People nailed it. Drug relapse is
pretty liekly if you go like a week together and freak out. Sounds like
there is a strong bond and interest, but you must each learn to stand
along before you seriously consider being together. If you're feeling
afraid of uprooting, you might try listening to your gut and hold off.
Good luck.

hey gurl i know what ur going through..i been there and done that..me
and my ex was on [ice]real bad..smoke it all day every day..we always
said we were going to stop but we never did..then he slept wit my
cousin..so we broke up..then we got back together and still on dope..it
will mess ur life up..but ppl dont believe me when i tell them it is the
best dope and high ever..it is very easy to get addicted to..well i am
off of it know but i still think about doing it and wantin to do it..i
think u should follow ur heart..but u really need to get off dope..im
not tellin u what to do cuz i understand were ur comin from..well i wish
u all the luck in the world..holla if u need to talk

when you both have been clean for at least a year, then you can think
about a relationship. By then you will be able to know what you want
without the dope getting in the way

I think you already have the answer. It is your life do whatever you
want. Who cares. It is people who are weak and cannot control their
urges become adicts. An overdose would be good. One less stupid adict to
worry about.

kinda like being vindictive in a relationship there rn?

boynxdr, this peachiepoohie has other discussion sites open. She is not
for real. She is playing games. So if she want to talk then here goes.

To be honest I am really surprise that you are even asking this question
from knowing you. Peachie you know what to do it's just a matter of
doing it you been down that road a couple of times so that is saying why
do some that you know is wrong over and over

Yea shadow, she is not for real. A real dependent person would just
follow their heart and be with the man they so loved. So if they can
stay clean apart then they sure like hell are bad together. Any idiot
can see that. So what do you want help with. I am licensed to shoot you
up. Come to mama.

Hmmmmmmmmm, drugs are bad. Mmmmmmm'Kay.

RN2000:

While I'd like to be hurt by your words, I'm a little more mature and
intelligent for that to happen. First off, and OD doesn't always kill
the "stupid addict" that it happens to. Infact, I've OD'd more than
once. Obvoiusly the "RN" in your name means nothing more than you feel
like feigning the experience and knowledge that a Registered Nurse would
have. Second, it is completely clear that you know nothing about
addiction...it's far less the addiction to the substance itself...and
far more the addiction to numbing yourself to either an issue at hand or
something in the past. Third, as for your belief that I am not "for
real"- whatever. If we're giong to start a hanging party for those
people on the this site that are not "for real", I as farther down on
the list than you think.

However, I did expect some stupidity in the responses I recieved because
the question what posed to general public and the world is FULL of
stupid people. Thanks for the demonstration.

The Shadow:

Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment. Maybe I'm scared that I'm going to
lose someone I love dearly and I don't want to spend the rest of my life
asking, "what if?" I dunno...

look dont listen to all the jerks on here..like i said ive been in your
place and it sucks.keep ur head up high.

I am a mother who had a daughter that was into meth. You need to do
what you need to do for YOU. Not for a relationship, or for anything
else. If he is the one he will wait. I really think you need to take
care of #1 first.

As for the idots on the site... everyone has there own opinon on how to
do things and what to do. You may want to look inside of yourself and
decide who YOU are.

heartnreaker and tneal:

thanks so much for the support...and I know that idiots will always
exist...I've made my decision...regardless of what anyone thinks, my
mind is set...all my love to all of you that offered help to me...

u are more than welcome..most ppl dont understand and they like to be
jerks and say stupid things..but dont listen to them..u do wat feels
right for u..dont listen to all the stupid ppl..i wish u
luck..