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Topic: Doing it right....
lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Sat 05/17/08 08:58 AM
Okay.... here is the scenario: I started chatting with a guy, a few years younger than myself. We were on messenger on Monday and he wanted to meet that night. He got a bit persistent, and I was tired, it was 8:00 and I said, no, I want to do it right. We agreed on Thursday, but that day I had to leave early for a dental appointment. I heard nothing about the date Tuesday or Wednesday, and so nothing was set up. I ended up getting a filling and so I wasn't online that night, as I was in pain. I logged in today to find an e-mail he sent late Thursday afternoon about getting together. It seemed as though he expected me to be sitting around my computer waiting for him to pop in and ask me out. I am of the opinion my saying 'I want to do it right' did not effectively come across as 'you need to make plans'. I did not want to seem rigid, but really. I think that even for meeting just for a coffee or drink you should be courteous and set it up at least the day before. Am I expecting too much? (Oh, and I offered up my number on Monday and he said he was not really a phone person)

cplichristmd Joined Sat 11/03/07 Posts: 1557	Sat 05/17/08 08:59 AM
Okay.... here is the scenario: I started chatting with a guy, a few years younger than myself. We were on messenger on Monday and he wanted to meet that night. He got a bit persistent, and I was tired, it was 8:00 and I said, no, I want to do it right. We agreed on Thursday, but that day I had to leave early for a dental appointment. I heard nothing about the date Tuesday or Wednesday, and so nothing was set up. I ended up getting a filling and so I wasn't online that night, as I was in pain. I logged in today to find an e-mail he sent late Thursday afternoon about getting together. It seemed as though he expected me to be sitting around my computer waiting for him to pop in and ask me out. I am of the opinion my saying 'I want to do it right' did not effectively come across as 'you need to make plans'. I did not want to seem rigid, but really. I think that even for meeting just for a coffee or drink you should be courteous and set it up at least the day before. Am I expecting too much? (Oh, and I offered up my number on Monday and he said he was not really a phone person) i will go out with you

Jill298 Joined Fri 11/09/07 Posts: 16316	Sat 05/17/08 09:00 AM
to the curb he must go

sucraniide Joined Sun 04/27/08 Posts: 540	Sat 05/17/08 09:01 AM
Okay.... here is the scenario: I started chatting with a guy, a few years younger than myself. We were on messenger on Monday and he wanted to meet that night. He got a bit persistent, and I was tired, it was 8:00 and I said, no, I want to do it right. We agreed on Thursday, but that day I had to leave early for a dental appointment. I heard nothing about the date Tuesday or Wednesday, and so nothing was set up. I ended up getting a filling and so I wasn't online that night, as I was in pain. I logged in today to find an e-mail he sent late Thursday afternoon about getting together. It seemed as though he expected me to be sitting around my computer waiting for him to pop in and ask me out. I am of the opinion my saying 'I want to do it right' did not effectively come across as 'you need to make plans'. I did not want to seem rigid, but really. I think that even for meeting just for a coffee or drink you should be courteous and set it up at least the day before. Am I expecting too much? (Oh, and I offered up my number on Monday and he said he was not really a phone person) That sounds a bit...suspicious. Shady is more the word I was looking for. You're not expecting too much. I'd even say you were a lot more flexible than most people. He needs to turn the crazy down a notch or ten.

madamx7316 Joined Tue 10/16/07 Posts: 15886	Sat 05/17/08 09:01 AM
not wanting to call is sort of a red flag for me...he doesnt have to sit on the phone for hours, but talking on the phone would be a definate for me. sounds kind of odd to me....

Jill298 Joined Fri 11/09/07 Posts: 16316	Sat 05/17/08 09:01 AM
Chris, I thought you had a gf now

mssilverfox Joined Sat 12/08/07 Posts: 10529	Sat 05/17/08 09:01 AM
give him the boot Lilith

mssilverfox Joined Sat 12/08/07 Posts: 10529	Sat 05/17/08 09:01 AM
give him the boot Lilith

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Sat 05/17/08 09:01 AM
i will go out with you You are a cutie, too!

9CORNERPOCKET Joined Mon 11/26/07 Posts: 2072	Sat 05/17/08 09:02 AM
YOU CAN CALL ME, LIL..........

cplichristmd Joined Sat 11/03/07 Posts: 1557	Sat 05/17/08 09:02 AM
maybe he has a bad lisp or something. i say give him one more chance.

A64WOODY Joined Tue 03/04/08 Posts: 6830	Sat 05/17/08 09:02 AM
Okay.... here is the scenario: I started chatting with a guy, a few years younger than myself. We were on messenger on Monday and he wanted to meet that night. He got a bit persistent, and I was tired, it was 8:00 and I said, no, I want to do it right. We agreed on Thursday, but that day I had to leave early for a dental appointment. I heard nothing about the date Tuesday or Wednesday, and so nothing was set up. I ended up getting a filling and so I wasn't online that night, as I was in pain. I logged in today to find an e-mail he sent late Thursday afternoon about getting together. It seemed as though he expected me to be sitting around my computer waiting for him to pop in and ask me out. I am of the opinion my saying 'I want to do it right' did not effectively come across as 'you need to make plans'. I did not want to seem rigid, but really. I think that even for meeting just for a coffee or drink you should be courteous and set it up at least the day before. Am I expecting too much? (Oh, and I offered up my number on Monday and he said he was not really a phone person) This is sounding just a bit fishy. I would definately proceed with caution. Maybe leave the ballin his corner and wait for him to wake up and realize what he is actually saying through his actions.

Jill298 Joined Fri 11/09/07 Posts: 16316	Sat 05/17/08 09:03 AM
maybe he has a bad lisp or something. i say give him one more chance. why?? first impressions are a big deal. I say he fkd up and move on

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Sat 05/17/08 09:03 AM
maybe he has a bad lisp or something. i say give him one more chance. It was not that he refused my number, he just admitted he was not really a phone person. My point was that if he was so into meeting right away, why would he wait until the last minute on Thursday?

LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Sat 05/17/08 09:03 AM
Sounds to me like you handled everything reasonably. I would be more concerned with his persistence of Monday -- that's not a good sign -- and the apparent single-mindedness he has displayed about the meeting, and his lack of consideration for what's happening in your own life, what you might have to deal with on any given day. Rushing things is generally not a great idea, in my experience....

cplichristmd Joined Sat 11/03/07 Posts: 1557	Sat 05/17/08 09:03 AM
Chris, I thought you had a gf now i do but i can still flirt cant i. and i have not heard from her in 3 days so ..........bummer for her.

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Sat 05/17/08 09:04 AM
Want to go out for dinner...in an hour?

cplichristmd Joined Sat 11/03/07 Posts: 1557	Sat 05/17/08 09:04 AM
maybe he has a bad lisp or something. i say give him one more chance. It was not that he refused my number, he just admitted he was not really a phone person. My point was that if he was so into meeting right away, why would he wait until the last minute on Thursday? sometimes when i get really nervous for a date i have stomach problems . maybe he had bad stomach problems and was afriad to go in case he had an accident

Jim519 Joined Thu 12/27/07 Posts: 9203	Sat 05/17/08 09:07 AM
Okay.... here is the scenario: I started chatting with a guy, a few years younger than myself. We were on messenger on Monday and he wanted to meet that night. He got a bit persistent, and I was tired, it was 8:00 and I said, no, I want to do it right. We agreed on Thursday, but that day I had to leave early for a dental appointment. I heard nothing about the date Tuesday or Wednesday, and so nothing was set up. I ended up getting a filling and so I wasn't online that night, as I was in pain. I logged in today to find an e-mail he sent late Thursday afternoon about getting together. It seemed as though he expected me to be sitting around my computer waiting for him to pop in and ask me out. I am of the opinion my saying 'I want to do it right' did not effectively come across as 'you need to make plans'. I did not want to seem rigid, but really. I think that even for meeting just for a coffee or drink you should be courteous and set it up at least the day before. Am I expecting too much? (Oh, and I offered up my number on Monday and he said he was not really a phone person) Wow... Well, if he didnt comprehend what you ment, then shame on him.... Dont worry, I will visit Ohio soon

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Sat 05/17/08 09:08 AM Edited by lilith401 on Sat 05/17/08 09:09 AM
Sounds to me like you handled everything reasonably. I would be more concerned with his persistence of Monday -- that's not a good sign -- and the apparent single-mindedness he has displayed about the meeting, and his lack of consideration for what's happening in your own life, what you might have to deal with on any given day. Rushing things is generally not a great idea, in my experience.... I agree.... thank you for your validation. I replied to his message that since I had not heard from him about it Tuesday or Wednesday, I assumed he had changed his mind. Ball is in his court. Jim~ Good deal....