Topic: abstract strokes and waves
no photo
Thu 05/15/08 10:13 PM
like the way the sun paints the day
skin summer sun
and some will say
I thought you were the only one
like a mountain penetrates
like the way a wave breaks
the salt cakes to my face
and some will say
I thought you were the only one

revision

jedigirl's photo
Thu 05/15/08 10:18 PM
flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 05/15/08 10:22 PM
thank u jedi
:smile:

FroznChild's photo
Thu 05/15/08 10:24 PM
Well Done. Makes me wonder what the original was, as the "revision" is very well done indeed.
Congrats, and thanks for sharing.
Equescent thoughts...
FroznChild

no photo
Thu 05/15/08 10:27 PM
thank you
frozn

just some rewording and a line drop

something i cant help but do if i look at one of my poems long enough

s1owhand's photo
Thu 05/15/08 10:28 PM
bigsmile

no photo
Thu 05/15/08 10:31 PM
thanks slow
glad u enjoyed it

LAMom's photo
Thu 05/15/08 10:52 PM
The Revision of the Vision
Is quite Awesome,, flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 05/15/08 10:54 PM

The Revision of the Vision
Is quite Awesome,, flowerforyou

thank you la
a beautiful woman in and out