One day I was in an elevator all by myself. That day I had a foot long burrito. All of a sudden I feel the burrito kickin in. It was trying to make a comeback. I still had like ten levels to go on the elevator. So I decided to rip a fart out. All of a sudden the elevator stops, the door opens and this mean looking lady walks in. About 30 seconds later it started to reek. It was one of those time released farts. As soon as the lady smelled it she turned around and said, "Did you fart?" Of course I did, I replied. You think I smell like this everyday. It was so hilarious.

yep, and how many times in a store...when we thought we had the isle to ourselves, and a hottie rounds the corner, and you cut the chedder of a lifetime.

I was at the LAX trying to get a flight to Brazil

I had to go for a Number 1 (LOO)Restroom
I am very fussy where I go so I found a deserted nice and clean toilet and sat down
As luck would have it another guy came and occupied the next cubicle (annoying to say the least)
Picture this there is no other soul in these toilets and he starts

Him "How are You?"

I felt a bit uncomfortable but eventually said

Me "Fine Thanks"

Him " Whats the weather like up there ?"

Me " Pretty much the same as up your end"

Him " What are you going to do today?"
Me" I am going to fly out."
Him "Nice where?"
Me"Brazil?"
Him" fancy having lunch with me?"
At this point I felt really awkward and he stood up and did whatever he was to do and said
"Hang about I am in the gents and there is a moron next door answering all the questions I am asking you let me get out of here and will call you again"

Talking about dropping one I dropped two didn't I?

I was lost for words

Oh, that really happended to you?

I'd believe that if I hadn't already heard it on snopes.