Hi. I have been divorced for a year now. He moved out of our house one day and in with his new love the next. I know kids need their dads so I have done everything posible to make it possible for them to spend time with him. Our orders state that he has them every other weekend and a month in the summer. It also states that we trade off holidays. I have let them go every weekend and every holiday has been split. He picks them up whenever it's convenient for them and brings them home if they cross him or her. I don't have this option during the week...he has not handled one day home due to sick kids or had to deal with any financial hardship past the $200 he pays for 4 kids every month. He didn't help with prom and I cover insurance. Is this the way this is supposed to be? I've been told I should feel lucky that he is involved at all. I guess that's true. I really could use some input from people who are doing this...please help me get some perspective...aside from 'man, she's pi$$ed!' I admit that! Thank you!

How old are your kids hun?

have you asked him to watch them if they are sick because if orders say thats only when he gets them that is only when he CAN have them or he will be in violation of a court oder

but to me he sounds like he only takes them when its good fo him and thats not cool

I understand how you feel. When I was in your position I did not let the situation get the best of me. I put the children first and did whatever I could to foster a good life for them.. which included having dad in the picture.

I got NO child support though it was court ordered. I did not insist he pay because he would have avoided the children in an attempt to avoid dealing with me over the money.

I have carried the financial burden of raising my children and am thankful I could do it. The children, now adults have wonderful relationships with their father.

Good luck, Mom's SHOULD swallow a lot of $hit for tht sake of their children.

Wow! I'm a divorced Texan and things don't sound normal with your decree. My ex has to provide insurance for our child on top of paying support. Visitations are 1st, 3rd, 5th weekends of the month. And, child support for our ONE child is more than triple what you get for 4. Something is way off.

There is a book to be purchased which should explain typical decrees for Texas divorces. May even be online.
Asking in here may not be the right venue unless you happen upon a lawyer or aide who knows Texas specifically.
Wish you well!!

I get 100/mo when it is convenint. 13 years worth. He is 15 now

and I raise our child full time alone.

Dads do share your grief and heartache, sometimes.

Here is to the kids!



Loving the children is known to the children from where it comes.

Yet, they love and love and love, hopefully, without bitterness.


Happy Mothers Day, moms!

You have all made me thankful today. I have two kids i get 900.00 a month for and 350. in spousal support and they are covered 100% on insurance. My ex and I are friends still too.


Of course the ba*tard cheated and left me after 13 years of marriage.

20 years later, ive never gotten a dime! they know who he is, its small town, know where he is...works, gets his taxes back, etc.... i gave up...his loss. i have a beautiful, talented daughter who i am proud of and can take full credit for. his mere $15 a week he was ordered to pay wasnt worth the headache....

I pay 300 a week and its a must for me to have my children every weekend unless its something that has been discused prior.
I miss my children all week and would love to have them full time but its best for them at this time to be with the ex,,, I spend more time with my children on the weekend then she does all week ..
sounds to me like a lawyer is needed and if he doesnt love them like he should maybe he shouldnt see them for awhile untill he respects what he has ... and wth ? how can he just bring them back when some trouble pops up .. doesnt sound like a man to me .. selfish much ?

well if yer not available he can't bring them back cause of an issue

just a thought

but hey

what do i know

BULLCHIT!!!

In the case of visitation (when a child stays at the other parents place) if a ocurt order says, for example, every other weekend, every other holiday, mothers/fathers day respectively, and one amonth each summer, as an example? That is the MINIMUM tiem that that parent can have. That is what the court states MUST be allowed. If the other half wants to allow more, they can. They can not take away from that time, bu tthey can add more on, if they agree to it.

On the reverse side thugh, that is also the minimum that the other parent ios REQUIRED to be involved. So if the parent doesnt WANT more than every other weekend, every other holiday, mothers/fathers day respectively, and one amonth each summer, then they are not required to have the children with them any more than that.

By the sounds of it hun, your ex is doing everything the court ordered him to do. And in all honesty if he brings the child to you if the child gets out of control, or on his nerves or whatever, that may well be a very good thing. Sit down and talkw ith him about all your concerns, and see if you can come up with something together. The two of you might even be ableto work out a way for him to return your children whenthey misbehave so that they are coming home to you in order to be disciplined for their behavior. If he wont alk with you, I would still definitely use them coming home early for bad behavior to your advantage. Discipline them, discipline them good, so that they will not WANT to act up whenthey go to dads house, cause they know they will get disciplined from you.

and as far as child support goes, my ex is ordered to pay 45 dollars a MONTH per child, and that 45 includes the cost she covers for their medical as well. And she brings home over 1600 dollars a month after taxes, and has full medical coverage cause she is a disabled vet.

$50.00/month sounds like a really good deal, for the dad. The good news is that prom implies High school, which means they're probably not far from being adults. The emotional damage to the children could have been worse, but it seems like he's defining what a deadbeat dad is, making only a token contribution to their wellbeing. And no, it's not the way it's supposed to be. People like that need a nudge from a judge. I'd suggest that you itemize and amortize your expenses compared to his, and then ask the courts to require that he pay (uh oh... that word that strikes fear into every man is about to happen) HALF. You probably wont get it, but something will change in your favor.

well hun im no lawyer or anything BUT, i just went threw the same thing in the system, and if i understand correctly he has to go by the book with the visitations..if not he is in contempt of court, i dont no what the whole deal is but YEAH, your lucky he even wants to be in their lives. I try so hard to be in my 3 year old daughters life but have to kiss the mothers butt to see her. hope i was some help hun. OH yeah, what Citizen Joe said in his reply is right on the head.

That really is not alot ...well right now my daughters father hasn't paid a cent but claims when he visits next month he
ll pay it all up .... we agreed he would pay 350 a month just for now until we go to court ..... but wha everyone should be paying for 1 child is $537 a month well thats what it is here in ontario ..... but im sure the kids will not be happy with him when they get a lil older and understand that their father only wants them when he feels the need

In MA the child support is figured out by income of both parents and the amount of time spent with them-I pay $607/month. I cover health,dental. We split health,dental expenses that are beyond my cost(ie perscription medicine). Our custody is joint shared physical custody split 75/25, which means I have him minimum 25% of the time. i'd like more, but I'm on call for work 24/7, which kind of makes it hard.

Here in Indiana, child support is based on how much money we BOTH make. They put it in a formula a come up with the amount of money he pays weekly. My ex has to pay insurance, this includes medical, dental and eye insurance.
As far as visitation goes, he is suppose to pick up the boys every other weekend. That means it starts on Friday at 5 pm and it ends on Sunday at 5 pm. Then we split the holidays, we take turns and switch off every year.
Now we had a little problem 3 years ago, my son is afraid to spend the night with his father. His father agreed to just take him out to dinner and just spend a few hours with him every Saturday...now its dropped down to nothing. My son wants absolutely nothing to do with his father, but when someone messes up like his dad did...I can't really blame him. BUT his father has never missed a support payment but its really sad that they don't even talk!!