After 35 years of avid study in the fields of archaeology, theology, philosophy, world religions, metaphysics, pre/ancient/revisionist history, astrology, and astronomy (in addition to performing in-depth analyses of all available versions of related religious texts, and taking part in many enlightening conversations with various clergy of different denominations, who happened to possess a rare penchant for the Truth), I remain a steadfast believer in a spiritual God, but not one defined by any religious dogma spawned by the contrivances of man.

My Path through Christianity to My current concept of God:

I abandoned Christianity at a very early age when Sunday School teachers could not answer to my satisfaction my questions about why Joshua killed women and children at the battle of Jericho. The reason given, that they were “evil” and sinners did not make sense to me, especially when they continued to tell me that we were all “sinners.”

This worrisome idea was patched up with the story, that those who accepted Jesus as their savior would be saved and would go to heaven. So naturally I said, “Hey count me in on that, where is this guy named Jesus?”

Well , turns out he died a horrible death on the cross to save me from my sins and I felt very sad and guilty about all of that but there was not much I could do about it since I was only about six years old, and besides, I did not live back in those days, and I was not even born then.

You can see how confusing this is to a small child.

Then I became concerned that my parents were going to hell because they did not go church. I really did not fancy going to heaven without my parents. I asked my mom if she was saved and she wondered why I asked her that, and I told her that the people at church told me that if you were not saved you would be going to hell. I did not want her to go to hell and I was extremely upset. At this point my mother stopped forcing me to go to Sunday school, and I was thankful for that and I went back to my happy childhood life.

And then of course the second and third grade gave way to the Santa Clause incident. I learned that the story of Santa Claus had all been an elaborate lie and I was shocked and horrified that my parents perpetrated these lies. I would have never believe that ridiculous story except that I did trust my parents to tell me the truth. They did not. I felt quite betrayed.

That is when I realized that if my parents could lie to me about Santa Clause, then those Church people could very well be lying about Jesus. Even at that age I considered all the possibilities.

I decided that I believed in God but I don’t think I liked him very much for killing all those people in Jericho. I did consider the idea that those stories in the Bible were not true, but I found it difficult to believe that grown-ups believed in all that stuff.

So Jesus and the Biblical God was placed into the category of myth, the same as Santa Clause, and the existence of God became highly suspect.

However I still knew there was something that needed to be addressed. Where did I come from, and how did I exist. How high was the sky, how big was the universe, how long is infinity, and where did all this stuff come from?

So I made it my pledge to always ask these questions and evaluate the answers. To read everything and explore any possibilities, and to never be taken in by the stories of men, churches or any other so-called authority. My purpose was to not reject or accept anything, but to evaluate and consider everything until I found the answers.

I thought I found the answer in the religion of light and sound, called Eckankar for a few years, but left that path when I felt the oppressive hand of a cult in the making. Later that group was exposed for the blatant lie it is. I was long gone from it by then, but many people who had spent years involved in it had their core belief system shattered to pieces by several books that were released about the scandals and lies involved with the movement. (The book to read on that would be “Confessions of a God seeker.”)

But it was not that book or the abandonment of Eckankar that changed my core belief system and my concept of God.

I read something that stated that God did not exist. Something about that statement rang true, but I did not know what it was. That shocked my core belief system and changed my concept of God as a being or personality and more of a consciousness expressing Itself in many things.

The God that did not exist was the picture of a personality sitting on some throne in Heaven. The true picture of God was so different from that, that no mind could grasp a picture of it.

At first I felt alone in this new view of God, and then I felt free, but with a feeling of lot more personal responsibility. It was a feeling of “We are all in this together.”

Then I envisioned a host of personalities that were manifestations of God that all worked together in the creation of the universes. I imagine that these universes are run something like governments are run, with lots of personalities everywhere.

That is my view of the universes and they all exist within this one great consciousness that is the heart, mind, and consciousness of God.

That is the short version too.

JB

Did you know that the guy that started Eckankar was a Scientologist?flowerforyou

Are you talking about Paul Twitchell? I don't know. Its possible. He was into just about everything. He was a bit of a con-man as it turns out.

JB

Drew.

Just my opinion, but I think you received the meat of the message and it really doesn't get any better than that.

You received and treasure the best of it.

peace

I did--and when being 18 and asking questions of people far smarter was met with...."Just have faith" that was not exactly confidence inspiring. But hey, I hung in there for more than three years--I wonder if if everyone who is certain of things has really looked at both sides?

-Drew

I did--and when being 18 and asking questions of people far smarter was met with...."Just have faith" that was not exactly confidence inspiring.

And that’s an epiphany in itself. If I can’t teach it with confidence, then why should I believe it with confidence?

I did--and when being 18 and asking questions of people far smarter was met with...."Just have faith" that was not exactly confidence inspiring. But hey, I hung in there for more than three years--I wonder if if everyone who is certain of things has really looked at both sides?

-Drew

Eckankar called itself "A way of Life" too.

The Atkins diet called itself "A way of life."

I have heard that term a lot and I guess its true. "A way of Life" is simply the way you decide to live your life within a certain set of values.

JB