BEST DRUNK STORY OF THE MONTH...

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>A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the
>bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three
>men sitting at a corner table.
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>He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks
>the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I
>went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in
>the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking
>woman!"
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>The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His
>buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and
>would fight at the drop of a hat.
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>The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it
>on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever
>had!"
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>The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but
>the biker still says nothing.
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>The drunk leans on the table one more time and says,
>"I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked
>it!"
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>At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by
>the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and
>says....................
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>"Grandpa,....... Go home, you're drunk."
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LMFAO!

lol ya ive read that one its funny

From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently, a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--,flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud Redneck. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

Very funny!