Topic: In praise of older women | |
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An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night & ask you,
"What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn`t care what you think. An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him. The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and the older a man gets, the weaker his libido gets ... which is why nature intended young guys to go out with older women and young women to go out with older men. An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. An older woman is into free sex! An older woman is almost always already attached to someone, so there`s no need to develop a phobia about committing to her. The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent lover! Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an asshole if you`re acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married. In fact, if you impregnate an older woman, you will probably be the last to know... Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can`t help you when your teeth get knocked out playing hockey. An older woman will never accuse you of "using her." She`s using you. Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman will call you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman will wait forever, by the phone, for you to call... Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial Pizza Hut Take out. An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she`s with you, in case you get any ideas... Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an affair, because somehow they always know. Older women often own an interesting collection of lingerie that they have acquired from admirers over the years. Young women often don`t wear underpants at all, thus practically eliminating all possibility of a strip-tease. Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screaming match with you in the middle of the night in a public park. Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after 12 beers, a boy just can`t get it up. A younger woman may need some time to grasp this fact. An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best years of her youth because chances are someone else has stolen them first. |
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yet I love em all young and old alike
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that part about younger woman only knowing how to dial up Pizza Hut doesn't apply to me............i'm a pretty damn good cook....if i do say so myself.
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An older woman won't make you wait until the bar closes on a "maybe" like a younger women. Heck, we've got things to do tomorrow - you'll know by 10 pm if you're going to get lucky.
An older woman really doesn't care if you spend the night - unlike a younger woman who wants you to stay and cuddle (or talk). Heck no - why take the chance he'll fall asleep? No need to put up with the snoring as long as we've gotten what we were wanting, he can head his *ss home to sleep in his own bed. And if you're lucky? An older woman who has kids probably can even throw you a fruit snack on the way out the door! |
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that's all true. the yougest guy i dated was 20 yrs younger than me. i lived with a guy who was 12 yrs younger than me for 8 yrs, and i broke up with him because he was boring.
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