A Summary of 2006 e-mails
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I must send my thanks to whomever sent me the one about rat poop in the
glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every
envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same
reason.

I am still waiting to receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates is sending me
for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
out for me.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to email, I have learned that my prayers only getanswered if I
forward an email to seven of my friends within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man
along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat
when I'm pumping gas.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup water in the microwave
anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I will never check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping
malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
Al Qaeda in disguise.


I no longer answer the phone because someone will hack into my line for
which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore
, and Uzbekistan

I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider
is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my
butt.

And thanks to all the great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I find in
the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex predator
waiting underneath a car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 60
minutes, you will have 10 years of bad luck and go straight to hell when
you die.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my
next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's
beautician...

A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has
discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read
their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off
now, it's too late.

LMAO!!! You just scared the heck out of me. I can't believe I was so
naive. Thanks for the info Kal, too funny

Awwwwwwww that was great Kal have missed your posting.
Welcome back!!

Thanks TxsGal............Just been busy!!

HOLLY H E L L!!! tooo flippin
funny......

Thanks KAL.... glad to see your back.

really great.. makes ya think

OMG that is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo funny.. thanks for that post .. I
neededda good laugh after today at work

here Kal..
bibbay

that was so funny

Kal, you don't have to tell me. Thanks to e-mail I now have at least
1000 men who want my body right NOW! I'm so flattered. Oh. and also
some women.

Me, too, sushi! Loved the post, Kal...

Well Lily, it has to be because we're so cute.