i have an overwhelming feeling of glee

but can't explain it.

this isn't how i usually am,

where the **** did my dark sarcastic humor go?

i must find it

i found my one true love in the world today

the only place i am my happiest

shivers run through my bones

as water swirls past my ears

the only thought

the song in my head

welcome home

why?

i wish i could tell you

my eyes are blurred

blue crystals surround me

each time my hands slices through

relief

its your face

gone

acid warms my soul

and burns my lungs

and i am at peace

china man doesn't get it,

so why do i?

every second i wish i was there

i want to race

so my competitive impulse can prevail

i miss the rush

i want to win

i will find my home

and no one will be there

for the first time in my life my lips are sealed

no words to be said

i wish i had the balls

but i don't

the conversation that needs to be had

never will

because i think about tomorrow

it drowns

as will you

no one will save you

only point and laugh

i'll be there

all the way in the back

with no words left

everything that should have been said

i will be spinning free

in the rain of course

lightening bolts surround me

if one should strike

let it hit me

i hold my head

it relieves the pain

its a ****ing furnace

charred remains

i chuckle to myself

the world makes no sense

so one day i'll own up

i'll do it because no one else will

i trust the lies

its easier than accepting whats real

i know whats real

i can't accept it anymore

brace myself

i never thought this would have happened

get the **** out of my head

i hate you

and probably always will

the rope you hold

will strangle you one day

you won't have friends to help you this time

its your own ****ing fault

it hurts like hell

been there

done it

ready for something

anything

i need something

someone

anything

just make it new

make it a new me

i love karma

as will you

just wait

very good to get it out