I have a 3 year old that likes to hit, pinch, kick and throw tantrums.
Time outs and taking privlages away does not seem to be working. Any
advice on how to get him to stop? I do not understand where he is
learning it from.

Be consistent in how you deal with his behavior. As soon as his
hitting/etc starts-up send him to bed for the night. (or some
significantly long period of time if too soon for bed).

Do not allow him to fight back - spankings are appropriate if he
attempts to hit you. All around you have to be clear, firm and direct
that his behavior will not be tolerated.

Once you have established the expectation of good behavior, and he's
complying, then investigate what is causing his issues.

Hey whisper, Is he in day care? or have siblings that he may have anger
towards?
I have three kids 2 are boys and they had brief periods of that
With my older son it was due to bullies at daycare.
All I can tell you is I made my kids responsible for what they did. They
hurt some one- then they apologized. Make them know they hurt someone.
My baby boy was actually hearing impaired until corrective surgery. He
was lashing out because he felt he could'nt be understood or express his
needs or wants. it stopped as soon as he could hear well enuf to speak.
I hope this helps. I knowhow frustrating it is- Hang in there and just
love em when you can...and pray- ALOT!

Thank you all for wonderful advice. I do not want to resort to spanking.
Do not think it is right if I am trying to get him to stop hitting to
try to stop it by hitting back. And yes he in day care never even
thought that is were he might get it from. I will talk to the day care
tomorrow. Thanks again for your advice.

DUC-Tape????

well-
a good tool to work with in this case is- walk away!
a child does these things when a addence is around so if you put him in
is room away from the family were there is no addence he'll learn to
stop doing these thing's because he's alone. and when you put him in
there exsplain he can not come out to be part of the family fun untill
he appoligizes and behaves like a big boy should! always when
dissplening a child let them know why there being dissplend and just
dont say because im your mother and what i say goes-
and very importion is for all members of your house hold to be good role
modles because all that he see's happening he will do it to. children
want to be like there syblings!

hope I helped
-vanessa

o- i tottaley aggree about spanking! spanking a child onley gives a
child fear to not do in again to the person or persons who are the ones
spanking a child! but when the child is around other people the child
will act up knowing these certion people wont spank me!

2 wrongs dont make a right- not even if a parent is older!

Whatever form of displine you choose ( and I'm not big on spanking),
Stick to it and don't make it easy. Let that child know that there are
consequences for wrong behavior. It might sound like overreacting, but
you don't want him to end up in jail. I work in a prison and most of the
problem inmates have never had disipline until they came to jail. Good
luck girl.

I do believe in spanking a child as long as you do it right! I have 2
boys and trust me, they were no angels! I told them the rules and if
they didn't follow then I would try to take things away, when that
didn't work, I would spank their butts. Worked every single time, but
now a days you have to be careful because so many reports of child
abuse.
The terrible 3's will get better until they turn about 15 then trust me,
it keeps going down hill!! Good luck!!

I'd say....Use reverse psycology (did I spell that right?)


Anyway, my point is when he acts up....try being nice to him and ask him
questions like....

Why did you hit your brother?
How does that make you feel?
Why are you being a bad boy?
Can you try to be a good boy for me?

See how he answers you and use it to your advantage. My son is 25 and
it still works today....Good Luck!

that is exactly what is wrong with todays youth they NEED their asses
spanked, I was whipped with switches when I was a kid and even had to
cut my own at times, there was nothing wrong with it and I am thankful
for the discipline I had as a child for it molded me to be the man I am
today

FedMan-
I dissagree with you!
1st of all I never got spacked!- and im way more behaved and macher then
people my age that got their ass's wooped! like my husband 4-example, he
had his ass wooped until he was black and blue but guess what- he act's
polite in front of his parents cause he's afread of them/ - for beating
him- but when he's around others he's disresspectfull! he had the ass
woopens it done no good thats why he's in and out of jail all the time
and he's brother is the same way- i never got my ass wooped and im
reaspectfull. there is so many other ways to dissapline your child!-
spanking is a resolt of anger! what are you teaching a child my spanking
him?- to fear you!it only hurts for a wile- a child needs to understand
right from wrong and by spanking him your onley teaching him its ok to
hit cause mommy and daddy is doing it to me! maybe its just easer for
you all to spanck you children rather then takeing the time to improve
the problem. im sorry if i afended any of you people but i tottaly
dissagree there is always other ways. your teaching your child vilence
not loving dissiplin. sorry 4-all who i affended

Spanking isn't the answer. Ever!
How could anyone bring themselves to hit a child? I have never
spanked my daughter and never will.
It's all in how the situation is handled. I believe a stern voice or
reverse psychology is by far, the best solution to resolving a problem.
I was spanked as a kid and believe me, it sucked and didn't work. It
made me want to rebel even more. I feel spanking just made me despise
my parents at the time.
As a father nowadays, I always use alternative methods of discipline
with great success. Why resort to violence? There's just no need for
it. Ever.

when you hit a child, you take the easy way out...it's not creative, and
it teaches a child to strike out when angry. if someone does them
wrong, hit them...NOT what i want my children learning.

corporal punishment also builds resentment in a child, and truly isn't
the most effective method of discipline. one can discipline WITHOUT
punishment...positive and negative reinforcement are MUCH more
effective.

remember that all kids throw tantrums, it's a part of development, an
it's actually a sign that your child is coming along nicely,
psychologically. that helps a little, maybe...knowing it's natural.

however, you don't want to reinforce the behavior. if possible, ignore
it, and praise him when he's acting properly. place him in a room by
himself, or go into another room, and do NOT respond to his little fit.
if you do, you've just given him attention, and children often will do
whatever brings them attention, negatively or positively.

do not let him cause you harm, or anyone else, either. calmly let him
know that when he's feeling better, you'll talk with him. then tell him
how you LOVE when he's smiling...

Thank you all for advice. And yes hitting is something that I would
NEVER do. I have only ever hit him once and that was just a reaction as
he was about to touch the hot burner on my stove. Was not hard either
and trust me I felt like CRAP for it. But anyways since I have made this
board I have found out that placing him on a chair and just standing
there and not let him leave from that place and if he tries to get up or
off of the chair I just put him right back on it. Until he is ready to
act like my sweet little Nevin that I know and love...lol. But for the
days that he really freaks out he has been going to his room on his own
and will not let me in. And he stays in there until he has calmed down.
Then he will come out and give me a hug and we will have a talk.

So thank you all once again.

My son and I got into watching that british nanny program together, its
really helped him to relate to the difficulties and frustration of being
a parent & has had huge impact on his behavior. I also got a lot of
great feedback from him on his perspective of different parenting
techniques, sometimes we forget or dont realize how frustrating being a
dependent child can be.

I have seen that show sheena I find it very informative.

if they bite...bite them back for real make them feel it.....i gaurantee
it wont happen again

tonya

i would consider that child abuse.

Coming from a child that got their "ass whipped" all the time, it does
not help...I was always afraid of my parents, and would hate it if my
daughter was ever afraid of me...Just remember, children live what they
learn. What always works with my daughter is making her stand in the
corner..But, different things work for different children. And biting a
kid back???!!! What the hell is wrong with you lady?!