Topic: Adult JOKES of the day | |
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When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with large breasts.
When I was 16, I dated a girl with large breasts, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability. When I was 25, I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that, I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. At 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as she made me happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition. When I turned 31, I found a smart, ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. Now I am 42, and all I want is a girl with big tits Three women who were friends in high school have returned to their hometown to attend their 45th reunion and have lunch together. Their talk turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other. The first woman says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor. The second woman says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride. The third woman says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions -- but 13 canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on my husband's erect penis." After a long silence, the first woman looks shame-faced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. We're not really going to the French Riviera -- we're going to my parent's house for two weeks." The second woman says, "Your honesty has shamed me. To be honest, my husband didn't buy me a Mercedes -- he bought me a Taurus." "Well," the third woman says, "I also have a confession to make. Canary number 13 has to stand on one leg." |
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LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i'd imagine both stories R true 2 you!
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NOPE
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LMAO that was good darling.
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that was good lol hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Ty Darling ice
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OMG those both were very good lol
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1st 1 true 2nd were's that canary !
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Thanks for sharing those, too funny...LOL!
I especially liked the first one... |
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LOL
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aaaaaah that was funny !! I like the first one the best ! but
you relize , when you find those bigguns at about 50 or so they could smother you !!! |
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