So, two days after he dumps me on the telephone, he sends me an IM telling me he isn't ignoring me, he just has been too busy with two people at work off sick and him having to work so much extra to make up for the hole in the workers.

Why tell me that in the middle of the night two nights after dumping me?????

He's looking to hook up. Sex on the brain. Call it what you will.

maybe you need looking for other man

are u sure he actaully sent it to u,did he mean to send it to someone else??

Yeah, got that bit. When I asked if he was still interested, his reply was "not so much anymore.: When I asked why his reply was "he thought he would feel more than he does". Coming from the guy who didn't want to rush things since he had a history of rushing. He didn't feel enough in a month in a half and thought things wouldn't go anywhere? I think he is confused about what he wants.

might be feeling a little guilty. doesn't want to be with you but doesn't want to hurt you either. He might be having second thoughts about dumping you. Or he just wants sex.

Hmm, good point!

u said he let u go,and then sends that.that only makes sense to me that he meant to send it to someone else, just forgot alltogether that he let u go.

Clicked on the wrong name on his Yahoo list? Could happen. But my picture pops up when he does that. He always like picture sharing. But IMing in the middle of the night, could have been tired and not paying attention.

if he can't be open and communicate, leave him in your past

yeah being the middle of the night could of been tired an not paying attention,but still pretty odd that he would send that after what he did,which only takes me to think that he did mean to send it to someone else but yes he may not of been paying attention to who he sent it to

Well, I'm the first person he dated after the death of his wife. So I'm thinking he doesn't know what he wants. He wants to go slow, but he wants to feel more than he was feeling? I think that maybe, he wasn't as ready to start dating as he thought? Especially after taking a week to go through all her stuff finally and start weeding out and getting rid of it all.

On the whole, it wasn't like the last dramatic, lying son-o-a-B that made me not want to deal with men for nearly a year after dumping him.

I'm already feeling a lot better about this breakup. Like in a month, I'm willing to talk to him on a friend level and be okay with that. Too soon right now.

well that makes a lot of sense there


I think every one needs to give them selfs more then a month or 2 after something like that,to start dating and yes u may be right he may have thought he wanted more,but then it him afterwards that he really wasnt ready for it,but I say u need to be causious on this,because if he wasnt ready not,he aint gonna be ready for a for a long while,but only my opinion

i stand by what i said earlier..

True, but you don't expect the same levels of communication from just friends. Sometimes I go several days not talking to my best friend. Then there is TONS for her to catch me up on.

i see. i have no time for someone who can't tell me something to my face. break up with my via phone, i must not be that important to you

No, I think you are totally missing the point. Being friends is something totally different than seeing someone. I think there is a tendancy for people on this site to automatically decide someone is just a Rat Bastard. It wasn't that horrible. I just wanted him to be upfront and it took him a bit to get to it. There was no need to drag it out.

The guy could have friendship potential. After all, it only lasted a month and a half. It's not like I totally was head over heels in love and was dreaming of a future in that short of time.

That would be so totally unrealistic. Just because something doesn't work out, it doesn't mean that a person should be dropped like a hot potato.

I met someone once that would have made a fantastic friend. But he only wanted a girlfriend and didn't want to waste time if all I wanted was friendship. I think we have to be open to friends as well as lovers. Now if he was a total absolute sh*thead about everything, then yeah, nothing.

well, i told you how i would go about it. i don't put up with stuff like that. if we're friends and you have respect for me, as i do you, then you'd have the decency to come to my face.

put up with what you want, i don't

that's all

Maybe he too wants to be friends. Sounds like a keeper, for friendship. Possibly he is being considerate.

Its called selective dating for one minute reason or another. Its too easy to find a single thing you don't like about another and use it as a convenient excuse to break it off. Seems like the "I'm selective" virus is going around.