I was at a bar once, alone waiting on my friend to get there. The bartender hands me a beer, and tells me it's from a gentleman at the end of the bar. I said I couldnt except and thought nothing of it. Ten minutes rolls around and he finally came up to me, looked me dead in the eye and said. "Hey, I drive a 1986 thunderbird". And me thinking I didn't hear him right, said oh a 1956? Thats awesome. Then he said, "No, its a 1986, wanna come outside to see it?".

I called my friend and told her to meet me somewhere else, promptly!

The idea of that big azz backseat a rockin didn't rock your world, huh?

I looked at it when I left, the seats were ripped to shreds. I shutter at that thought. Brrrr

In a bar, walk over to the chick (make sure she has ice in her drink first, so you don't look like a j@ck@ss!) and take a piece of ice outta her drink with your hand...then, slam the piece of ice down on the table/bar right in front of her... look into her eyes and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, wanta go back to my place?"