these are hilarious


This is our future...enjoy


thank you so much for sending these...Ed...Rara777


i just had to pass them on here too...


Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?



--- Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."


--- The nice thing about being senile
is you can hide your own Easter eggs.


--- I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.


--- I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.


--- An elderly woman decided to prepare her will
and told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Walmart. "Walmart?"
the preacher exclaimed. "Why Walmart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week "


--- My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


--- Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.


--- I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.


--- I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose.

Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.


--- It's scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffeemaker.


--- These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."


--- I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women
my age, but they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."


--- Don't think of it as getting hot Flashes.
Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.


--- Don't let aging get you down.
It's too hard to get back up!





--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing.






--- THE SENILITY PRAYER:
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.


Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10.

Oh heck, send it to a bunch of your friends


if you can remember who they are.

very funny stuff, Vanessa!

hi Dear Lady Erica...


thank you my Friend


i love you lots

hi there Krazy Kitty


so glad you enjoyed it !!!

I love you too!

sand'n'pearls


what a beautiful screen name !!!


thank you for stopping by ...

Really good stuff. Thanks for sharing.

Hi there Rainbow Trout !!!


so nice to see you


thanks Bud, for stopping by

MUAH!!!


Much love and hugs to you & Doug

ty I miss him! But I know he loves me, and he'll be back real soon! thanx for your friendship Vanessa!

thank you also ...


I really want to thank you for being an awesome Lady, Love

a blessing from God above for my very awesome Friend, Doug...


i have wanted a real good lady to come into his life...

to keep him well loved & free from loneliness & strife


and Voila.... here you are

tyvm I am so happy with him!