Hey wildflower, I don't know if this will give you the answers you're looking for, but my hope is maybe it will help. Speaking from long experience, It's an obviously diffrent world over their. I have seen and heard what you're saying a million times. When your there, you rap your mind around anything that gives you some kind of peace or something you feel your missing. It keeps you going. Then, and this is where the problem comes in. You get back home and for a short while you THINK you know what you want. Truth is if you don't give yourself time to re adjust to your surroundings again, you will run away from things just because there not familiar or your scared to lose something, so It's easier to run the other way. Please understand I am in no way standing in judgement of him or anyone. We all experienced our own things over their. Bottom line is YOU ARE NOT the problem. It's very possible he will de compress from being their and go ahead with the plans you made. But he may not. I'm not sure If this helps or makes you more confused, just trying to shed some light on where his head might be. I wish you the best, and whatever you do, don't take it as a personal shot at you. Again, It's not you. If you have any questions, feel free to write me. Again, I am not judging anyone, and I hope it works out for you...I hope this helped...

When someone come's home from a combat zone they need to feel they have something to protect,,,, It happened to me aswell and it is very different,,,, I say he need's some time to decide what he really want's???? It's not you or anything like that,,,, It is hard to explain,,,, But to think someone love's you while you are thier make you want to be happy with that person,,,, Do you see where I am going???? I am lost now,, I still feel the need to fight for something even if it is wrong,,, It is a really sad feeling....Good luck

i agree but i will not sacrifice having a life just because i have a child. i did that the four years i stayed with her father. shes a smart kid. she'll be alright. the damaged her father does is way worse than me having he spend time with me and my boyfriends. she know they are not her father.

One perfect example of why I haven't dated in 10 years.... It's hard, but so necessary. I hope you find the love you want, truly.

its not necessary though, balk at me because i'm young but whats going to happend when your children are grown and move on with their individual lives? you wont know what to do. you've probably dedicated you life to your children and thats good. but you have to have something for yourself. you'll always be a mother just not a full time one. you need to go out atleast twice a month on dates or with friends or something (when i say friends i mean single ones, don't be a third wheel to a married couple you'll just get depressed)

oh honey I undestand entirely.... believe me... Its hard to tell at first if a relationship will last long term... ya know??... and I just dont ever want to explain to my kids WHY this man isnt coming over to hang out and have fun with us anymore. its a personal choice i guess. and as kids get older, they do understand more.. My daughter is 12 and has boyfriends herself, so she at some level does understand the whole dating thing... BUT i have to provide an example to her.. My best example Ive given her the past year is that BOYS do NOT play an important impact on MY life... lol, but in fact I really dont like doin this single mom thing, i made a mistake and am paying my price right now though...
If a man wants to take me out and have fun occasionally, Im game...
BUT.. if he wants to be around my kids...I gotta know first the possiblity of a ring on my hand is gonna be there.. and OUR next step is seeing if our families would work together...

Does that make any sense??

it makes perfect sense i just don't want to go from one extreme to the next though ya know. letting her meet my boyfriends and then all of a sudden mommy and me are moving in with a man i've only met twice. i need to find a happy medium, unfortunately i am the queen at making bad decisions at even worse times.

it makes perfect sense i just don't want to go from one extreme to the next though ya know. letting her meet my boyfriends and then all of a sudden mommy and me are moving in with a man i've only met twice. i need to find a happy medium, unfortunately i am the queen at making bad decisions at even worse times.

lol, gotta take it slow baby and really just have FUN.. with your kids one day, work the next, a date one day...take it slow and you will avoid the extremes... and know what u want from a man and dont settle for less.....
NEVER!!!!
give it time... if its meant to be it will find a way... and if not be thankful for unanswered prayers......

i agree but i will not sacrifice having a life just because i have a child. i did that the four years i stayed with her father. shes a smart kid. she'll be alright. the damaged her father does is way worse than me having he spend time with me and my boyfriends. she know they are not her father.

I have a child that never meets the men that I date. It is not healthy for the child to bond with somebody and that somebody is gone one day. And then add another somebody and another.
It is my job to protect my child.

I have a child that never meets the men that I date. It is not healthy for the child to bond with somebody and that somebody is gone one day. And then add another somebody and another.
It is my job to protect my child.

its also a mothers job to get their kids ready for the real world. you cant protect them forever and if you try, you're only gonna hurt them more

ditto, Mine won't meet the women I date. I'm even concerned about moving across town because of the impact it would have with him.