January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....
Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!!

March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6
months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours ..... power
went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of
water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a
slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped
because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour
per pound and I weigh 108 pounds !!

December - Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there's no "eleven"
button on the stupid phone!!!