I for one, would consider "unpaid child support" as negative baggage. If a guy can't take care of his children, I don't want him in my life.

I have met a couple of guys who actually have their ex still living with them, either renting a room, or they live in separate rooms. That's baggage I wouldn't want anything to do with. And trying to arrange a date was a nightmare cuz he didn't want her to get all ugly if she found out he was dating... either he was lying about their actual relationship, or he was in a situation I would not want to touch with a ten-foot pole.

To me, that's "baggage".

Trust me, I've met some men that actually do think of children as baggage. I met one guy who actually told me that my having a job, rent, etc. was baggage.... go figure. He was retired and lived in a motor home... so he considered my responsibilities "baggage". When I left his motor home, I felt sad that I would never get to know his dog better. (He had the sweetest bassett hound).

What the heck are you talking about.... I have not set down any rules.... I was simply discussing what some people consider baggage and expressing how I've learned to deal with my "baggage" in the past... finding it best left behind. Trust me, I have cradled enough scarred men in my day... and you won't find a more patient and compassionate person when it comes to dealing with someone's feelings and pain.... so don't cast stones.

You might want to read the entire thread before you jump in and take someone's comments out of context.

Huh?

Well, regarding those people who think of children and the necessary connections having to do with them: I for one, would consider those with that line of thinking as "baggage" better left unclaimed.

Usually after closing, they go to other bars.

IDK, ask an ER nurse

I heard a blonde joke about that, she said she used a coke bottle cuz she heard it was "the real thing"

How about drinking yourself into a drunken stupor?


(Another thing not to do with yourself and a bottle)

Labotomy

I was referring to dwelling on the past (past relationships, hurts, heartaches, ex's, etc.) - the unhealthy clinging to the past... not letting go - beating a dead horse. Carrying that "past" to new relationships.

I guess the best analogy to minimize or eliminate that type of baggage is like washing your hands... no need to pass it on to others.

JMO

I was up half the night reading Mirror's profile... but what a great read!!!

I can think of an urban legend that is rather gross. Then again, it may have actually happened. But never, ever, use an empty bottle as a sex toy.

I found it - this song has really impacted my life:

“Let Go of the Stone”
Sung by John Anderson

You shouldn’t wade out in deep water when you don’t know how to swim
He told you it was over and like a fool you followed him
Into a whirlpool of emotion, spinnin’ out of control
It’s killin’ you but you won’t let him go

Let go of the stone if you don’t wanna drown
In the sea of heartache that’s draggin’ you down
It’s pullin you under and you keep hangin’ on
If I’m ever gonna save you let go of the stone

Oh don’t you realize the danger and the hurt you’re headed for
Put your arms around me and swim with me to shore
Just let go of that ol’ memory, I know it’s hard to do
But I’ll be here holdin’ on to you

Let go of the stone if you don’t wanna drown
In the sea of heartache that’s draggin’ you down
If I’m ever gonna save you let go of the stone
If I’m ever gonna save you let go of the stone

Songwriters: Barnes, Max Troy, Barnes, Max D

I have 3 tidbits of wisdom to pass on to you:

1. Let Go of the Stone: I have always thought about "baggage" as though it were a stone I had to carry. And that stone can get heavier over time if I continue to carry it.

I can' remember if I heard this in a country song, or what... but the following analogy was presented in that "song". I believe it was called, "Let go of the stone".

Basically, someone is carrying this stone (baggage, pain, heartache, etc.) across a body of water - swimming, carrying the stone. And the song is telling them to let go of the stone before it carries them under and destroys them (they drown).

Although I can't remember exactly where and how I heard this, the vision of someone carrying a stone while trying to swim a span of water, is a constant reminder to me to "let go of the stone".

It has helped me to let go over the years and it has become words to live by for me.


2. A very wise friend once told me something he lives by: "I refuse to let anyone rent space in my head". Works for him, and has worked for me ever since I heard it.

3. And lastly, I've always believed that the past is written, a done deal... I cannot change it, but I can learn by it. As long as I don't let it rule me or my decisions, I can leave it behind me. That is why I live for today and look to the future. There's no point in dwelling on the past if I can't do anything to change it.

Hi, and welcome to Mingle.... see you in the forums!!!

A blonde is still a blonde... even though mine is more dishwater blonde and gray mix these days, you're still dealing with a blonde... and I get so confused sometimes.

I thank you and appreciate your compliment and recognition.

Let me rephrase that: Can someone please define "baggage"?

I'm not sure I'm clear on the meaning, or at least the general perception of "baggage".

Can you please define "baggage"?